


I'm the Pillar of Strength for the Pedestal I Admire

by watercrab



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, The Avengers - Ambiguous Fandom
Genre: Abuse, Angst with a Happy Ending, Eating Disorders, Everyone Needs A Hug, Human Trafficking, Isolation, M/M, Not Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. Compliant, Not Avengers: Age of Ultron (Movie) Compliant, Not Beta Read, Not Captain America: The Winter Soldier Compliant, Not Iron Man 3 Compliant, Not Thor: The Dark World Compliant, Rape/Non-con Elements, Recovery, Steve Needs a Hug, Suicidal Thoughts, Therapy, Tony Needs a Hug, Torture
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-06
Updated: 2017-07-09
Packaged: 2018-04-30 02:51:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 11
Words: 28,248
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5147564
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/watercrab/pseuds/watercrab
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Who’s strong and brave, here to save the American way?</p><p>The team wants revenge after they found Steve broken, instead they are struggling with their own emotions as they try to help Steve with his recovery.  As they discover that someone not only sold out Steve but various SHIELD agents in the last couple of years, Tony is dedicating his life to show Steve that he is loved, will always be loved, and never was damaged.</p><p>The Avengers assembled but not as superheroes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [BDSM Art (Captain America)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/879293) by [LePeru (Nizah)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nizah/pseuds/LePeru). 



> This started out by discovering one of LePeru's lovely artwork and I wanted to challenged myself if I could write something dark. I was debating about posting and was going to make my final decision after I finish Nature/Nurture but of course every time I work on it, the more I wanted to share it. Edits have been made and I finally figured out a way to add some characters, introduce a headcanon, and my movie version of Jan in the later chapters!
> 
> Please be mindful of the warnings, there are non-consensual elements in this story (not sure if the rating will go up). They will be talked about and briefly describe in some sections.
> 
> Thank you!

Tony felt uneasy in a room full of filthy rich people.  He was known for playing with the rich and sleazy; he created the image but there was a vibe that made his skin crawl and his stomach churn.  The guests were pretending to be bored but it was obvious that they were excited about tonight’s event.  They have done this before and all he wanted to do was escape.  The last time he had that uneasy feeling, he was at MIT and a former friend invited him a night out on the town.  He refused the invite because his skin itched something unpleasant and the next day he found out that his “friend” was arrested for assault.  Since then, he avoided that feeling at all cost.  Even debauchery has its limits.

 _“Stark,”_ Natasha’s voice hissed in his ear.  _“Stop jittering, you’re shaking the camera.”_

Tony hummed and casually grabbed a flute of champagne from a waiter.  He brought the glass to his lips.  “I don’t like this,” he whispered before taking a sip from the flute.

 _“You shouldn’t have volunteered,”_ was the sharp replied.  _“There are people who are perfectly trained that can handle this.”_

A corner of his lip quirked up before the champagne returned to his lips.  “Like you?” he mumbled.  “This operation would’ve been over once you entered and Clint can’t even act rich if his life depended on it.”

Clint responded with a “ _true dat.”_

“But there is something going on here that makes this genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist uncomfortable.”  Tony downed the rest of the champagne. 

There was a pause.  _“Then do it for Cap.”_   Another pause.  _“And stop shaking!”_

He grunted in response while placing his glass on a passing serving tray.  Natasha was right; he had to do it for Steve.  This event was their only lead since the super soldier disappeared three weeks ago over a simple recon mission.  The disappearance and the lack of evidence left the team on edge while Tony was desperately missing the super soldier.   Steve became his closest friend, confidant, and the only person that remembered to feed him.  The last three weeks without Steve made Tony question his own personal feelings towards the other man and the weird vibe that has always been between them.

Tony swallowed the sigh and moved through the crowd effortlessly; pompous men gave slight nods and over dressed women flashed small smiles.  It was a comforting fact that he wasn’t Tony Stark tonight.  Tonight he was Heinrich Zehnder, the multi-billionaire recluse from the Bavarian region of Germany.  It was just annoying that he had to shave off his goatee, dyed his hair blond, and remembered his German lessons.  The horn-rimmed glasses were his design though, a mini-HUD display that kept him in contact with JARVIS, Natasha, and Clint.

His eyes roam across the ballroom gathering information that might be considered useful.  Natasha’s voice became background noise as she rattled off names, occupations, and how each guest has no criminal background.  Worry twist around Tony’s heart, their only lead to Steve became a dead end.

_“What’s with the stage?”_

Clint’s voice disrupted his thoughts and Tony glanced around.  His musings led him towards a raised platform with a large screen.  There were anxious guests hovering around checking their watches and playing with their jewelry.   Something cold began to form in his stomach.

“I’m having a bad feeling about this.”

 _“Abort,”_ Natasha ordered without any hesitation.  _“Get out of there Stark!”_

The lights dimmed in the ballroom and the crowd began to swarm around him.  “Too late.”

The people around him instantly went silent as a slim man wearing a perfectly tailored tuxedo walked onto the raised platform.  Everyone began to clap as he waved and smiled.  “Good evening dear friends,” his voice was smooth, velvety, and there was a hint of an Eastern European dialect.  Tony did a scan but nothing appeared on the mini-HUD.  “Tonight is a very special auction and I know everyone is excited for it.  As usual, items up to bid will be shown on the screen behind me.  Payments are made by account transfers and once payments have been completed, you’ll be directed to your purchased items.  As usual the highest bidder of the night pays first.”  He clapped his hands.  “Shall we get started?”  Everyone cheered.  “Excellent, here is the first item to bid.”

Tony covered his mouth when the first image appeared on the screen.  There was leather, restraints, objects, and fear.  He couldn’t believe what he was seeing.  It had to be a joke, he wanted it to be a joke; because there was no way what he was seeing was real. 

 _“Shit,”_ Clint growled out through the comm.  _“A sex slave trade.”_   Then the archer asked the question that no one wanted to ask.  _“What does this have to do with Cap?”_

 _“I’ve contacted SHIELD,”_ Natasha answered instead.  _“A strike force is standing by on our count.  Just hang in there.”_

Tony could only nod and continued to watch the images on the screen, each one becoming more graphic than the last.  The auctioneer gave out details about the victims and what type of activities that they would be perfect for.  The guests cheered or jeered depending on who won that particular bid.  They were acting like this was nothing, that the victim was nothing but an object, a toy. 

“Now it’s the moment that you’ve been waiting for,” the auctioneer announced with excitement.  Tony could feel the buzz pulsating around him as the guests pushed themselves closer to the stage.  The auctioneer, loving the attention, began to hum and dance.  Amused at the auctioneer’s antics, the crowd began to clap along.  “ _Who’s strong and brave, here to save the American way?_ ” he sang out.

Tony paled.

“ _Who vows to fight like a man for what’s right, night and day?_ ”

Natasha and Clint were screaming in his ear.

“ _Who will campaign door-to-door for America?_ ”

The crowd laughed.

“ _Carry the flag shore to shore for America, from Hoboken to Spokane?_ ”

The auctioneer jumped back and swung his arm towards the screen.

“ ** _The Star Spangled Man with a plan!_** ”

There was a millisecond delay between the image appearing on the screen and Tony moving his hand to turn off the video feed from his glasses while ignoring Natasha’s shouts.  Cheers erupted around him and people began talking excitedly.  There was no need to have JARVIS confirming that the man on the screen was Steve.  He just knew.

Steve was in the full Captain America uniform without the pants, his boots bright red against his pale calves.   A black blindfold covered his eyes but Tony could see that the silk was wet from the tears.  He was on his knees while his head rested on the bed and his arms restrained behind his back.  The position was meant to humiliate and it was working judging by the heavy wet breathing and the blush on Steve’s face.  Tony noticed that Steve was not struggling, meaning that his captors found a material that could withstand a super soldier.

Taking in a deep breath, Tony forced himself to look at the naked flesh.  Steve was wearing a harness that was keeping a large red _something_ in place.  A leather strap followed the crack of his ass to a second harness that held his cock tightly.  A flash of metal caught Tony’s eyes and to his horror the tip of the shaft looked liked it was pierced.  Averting his eyes back to Steve’s face, he noticed a black collar around his neck with an attached leash.  The leash trailed from the neck to the cock harness and finally attaching itself to Steve’s bounded feet.  Wanting to turn his head away, Tony forced himself to look so he wouldn’t look suspicious.

“Captain America, ladies and gentlemen,” the auctioneer leered at the crowd, “the first Avenger, a national treasure, the leader of the mighty Avengers, and America’s golden boy!”  He stood up straight and grabbed his lapels.  “For the right price, he can be yours.  Everything you see, you get.  And here’s the ultimate selling point, he’s never been touched!”

Tony found himself snorting at that comment.  Except for the team, no one knew about Steve’s sexual orientation and his misadventures during his pre-serum and USO days.  It started off as a team bonding night on who had the craziest sex story that quickly escalated into a coming out party after Steve’s story of a male model, a private art session, and an interesting use of an easel.  Tony still can’t get the Jägermeister stain, which came out of Clint’s nose, out from the wall.   

“How do we know that’s Captain America?” One of the guests yelled out.

The auctioneer smiled and snapped his fingers.  A lovely woman wearing practically nothing was holding Steve’s shield in her hands.  Tony had to tell himself to unclench his fists.  “This is the great Captain America’s shield.  Made out of pure vibranium, it’s the only one in this world, perfectly honed to fly through the air with deadly accuracy.  This shield can withstand anything.”  In one fluid motion, the auctioneer pulled out a gun from his suit jacket and fired three rounds at the woman.  She screamed and thrust the shield in front of her as her only attempt of protection.  The bullets hit the shield and dropped to the ground.  The auctioneer turned to the crowd and gave them a deadly smile.  “Including bullets.”  He returned the gun back to his jacket.  “Let’s start the bidding.”

The ballroom erupted into noise as the guests began yelling out their bids.  Tony ducked his head into his chest so he could speak into the microphone.  “Nat,” he said loudly over the crowd, “what’s the limit on that account?”

There was a pause.  _“We can call in the strike force,”_ she answered.  _“We have all the evidence we need to put these people away.”_

He swallowed.  “We can’t,” he replied.  “Steve’s in a bad way and I want to limit how many people seeing him down to one.  Once again, what’s the limit?  You better answer fast or we’ll lose Steve forever.”  He almost added _if we haven’t already_.

_“There’s no limit on the account.  It’s designed as an escape window for the agent.  Once used, the agent has six hours to get out of the country before anyone notices that the account is a fake.”_

“Thank you.”  Tony turned his head towards the stage and yelled out in a thick German accent, “Five hundred!”

The ballroom went silent and every eye was on him.  The auctioneer blinked at him a couple of times.  “Five hundred what?” he asked calmly.

“Five hundred million Euros,” Tony replied just as calmly.  “And another hundred million for the shield.”

The smile on the auctioneer’s face was perverse and greedy.  “Sold for six hundred million Euros!” he yelled gleefully.  “That concludes our night.  If you made a purchase tonight, one of my lovely assistants will come and escort you to the back for the final arrangements.  Enjoy the rest of your night!”  He fixed his attention to Tony.  “Herr Zehnder, please follow me as you had the highest bid.”

“Of course,” Tony answered with nonchalance.  He forced himself to shake the hands with the some of the guests as he walked up to the stage.  He pried the shield from the frighten woman’s hands before going into a separate room.  He gave a dirty smirk to the auctioneer’s raised eyebrow.  “I have plans for the shield.” 

The auctioneer just laughed.  “I heard that you would be here tonight but I thought it was just rumors,” he said in perfect German.  He gave Tony a tablet.  “Please enter your account information here.  Once everything clears, you can go and collect your prize.”  Tony entered the code with Natasha’s help and handed it back to the auctioneer.  The man looked it over and after a few seconds, he gave a huge smile.  “Danke, Herr Zehnder.  Your prize is in the penthouse.”  He pointed at the gilded doors to the left.  “Exit through those doors and take the elevator.”

Tony gave one of his patented smirks.  “Auf Wiedersehen.”  He moved quickly and efficiently to the elevator.  He slammed the button to the penthouse once the doors were shut.  “JARVIS, I’m going silent.  Make sure that no one hears me, see anything, or overrides the code,” he ordered as the elevator slowly went up to the penthouse.  “Also get the suit ready, I’m blowing this popsicle stand once I find Steve.”

 _“All communications have been disabled, Sir.  The only outside contact is me,”_ JARVIS answered.  _“The suit is en route.  It will be at your location once the strike force move.”_

“Excellent.”

The doors opened to a lavishly decorated foyer with Mozart playing in the background.  Tony slowly exited the elevator and calmly walked into the foyer.  He jumped when his hand brushed against the heavily decorated sideboard and when he looked down he saw the bottle of champagne chilling in a silver bowl.  Disgusted, he pushed himself away while wiping his hand.  Everything about the penthouse gave him a creepy sex deviant axe murderer vibe.  And he did not want to be in that movie.

“JAR-”

 _“Already scanning for bugs and surveillance devices,”_ his AI interrupted, sounding rather agitated.  _“The penthouse is clear.”_

Muffled cries were heard in another room and Tony broke into a run.  He kicked the door opened and froze in horror.  He knew what he was expecting from the image but just seeing it in person was making the whole situation a reality.  A yell that was bubbling was lodged in his throat as his fingernails dug into the doorframe.  Steve was presented on the bed, his ass in the air and his blindfolded face was towards the door.  Judging by the odd angle, he turned his head when Tony kicked the door open.  He let out a harsh cry when his squirming caused the leash to tug on his cock.

“ _Mercy!_ ” Steve sobbed to him, his body shaking in a mixture of pain and pleasure.  “Please give my friends mercy!  I won’t leave!  I’ll do anything!  Just give my friends mercy!”  The begging was completely out of character from a man that doesn’t take shit from anyone.

Tony felt the rage boiling in him.  Someone knew.  They knew that Steve couldn’t be tortured by traditional means.  They knew that Steve would choose death if that meant saving the world.  Someone knew Steve’s weakness.  The only way to successfully torture Captain America was to threaten his friends.  Threaten death and Steve will practically do anything.  The urge to return to the ballroom and kill every single person in there was great and Tony would personally make sure that each death would be painful.

 “Steve,” he breathed out, forcing himself into the bedroom.  “Steve, it’s me.”

Steve froze.  He licked his lips a couple of times.  “Tony?” he whispered, sounding completely shocked and hopeful.  “Is…is that really you?”

“Yeah buddy, it’s me,” he answered.  He kept his eyes on Steve’s face as he gently climbed onto the bed.  He ignored the way his friend’s body flinched.  He was undecided on which item to remove first; the restraints or the blindfold.   Steve was already panicky and either option might hurt him or Tony.  “Steve, I’m going to remove the blindfold.  I’m going to look different because of some crazy SHIELD undercover shit but I promise you that it’s me.”

“Promise?”

“I always keep my promises to you,” Tony teased.  He smiled when he heard the amused snort from his friend.  His fingers went to the blindfold and undid the knot.  The wet silk was peeled away from the cowl.  “Don’t open your eyes yet.  Let me get the headgear off.”  He unbuckled the collar with gentle hands and tossed it to the floor.  The cowl quickly followed afterwards.

Steve let out a heavy sigh and his body relaxed somewhat.  Wet blue eyes blinked opened before they focused on Tony’s face.  “You look horrible as a blond,” he replied hoarsely.

The snort of laughter was unexpected but not offensive.  “Tell me about it,” Tony retorted.  “This is about bad as the time I dyed it back in ’85.”

A sob was heard under the laughter.  “You have to tell me that story,” Steve gasped.  “I just want to go home.”

“You’re going home,” Tony promised as he pulled the leash free and removed the cuffs around the red boots.  He studied the rest of the restraints.  The bindings around his arms were attached to the harness, so when Steve tugged on his arms the plug, what Tony assumed was a plug, went deeper.  “Okay,” he breathed.  “Just give me a few seconds and I’ll get you out.”

“No!” Steve yelled and tugged on the restraints.  His actions caused his dick to twitch and he moaned.  “Just free my hands and let me do it!”

“I can’t Steve!” Tony pleaded.  He lowered himself so his face met with Steve’s.  “You can’t do this by yourself.  You have to trust me.”  His heart broke when Steve averted his eyes in shame.  “I will never tell anyone what happened in this room.”  He didn’t know what compelled him to do it but he kissed his friend’s forehead.  “I’ll take it to my grave.”

Steve’s body relaxed either from the declaration or by the comforting kiss.  He closed his eyes and nodded his head.  “Okay,” he whispered.  “I trust you.”

Tony quickly went to his knees and began loosening the restraints.  The bindings twisted around Steve’s forearms in a figure eight.  When the left arm was free, Tony gently rubbed the wrist to get the blood flowing back into the hand.  Before he let the arm fall on the bed, he pressed his lips to the wrist.  He did the exact same thing once the right arm was freed.  The clasp for the restraints and the harness was located at the small of the back.  He reached for the clasp but stopped, his eyes going wide at the intricate design.

“Tony?” Steve gasped.

He shook his head.  “Sorry,” he whispered.  “The harness is like a puzzle.”  He leaned back to studied the harness more.  “I need to remove the contraption around your dick.  There might be some touching.”

“Just get it off!”

Not even pausing to take a deep breath, Tony lowered himself on the bed and crawled under Steve’s chest.  He slowly rolled onto his back and tried to make sure that his crotch was not in Steve’s face.  The small harness was pretty much an elaborated cock cage.  The device was obviously too small for Steve as his erection was turning to a violent shade of purple.  If the situation was different and their relationship was more intimate, Tony would’ve admired it, maybe worship it. 

He shook his head from that thought, if wishes were horses.

Reaching up, he bypassed the gleaming but strange looking piercing and unsnapped the two buttons that held the harness together.  Steve let out a wet whine when the material fell away from his cock.  Tony wiggled away and moved to his backside.  He gently pulled the harness away and the balls slipped free, earning another cry from the super soldier. 

Tony reached for the clasp at the small of the back and released it.  The leather straps dropped away from the muscular hips and was only held by the red plug or device or something.  Deciding to remove it like a band-aid, Tony reached for it but pulled back.  He blinked at it a couple of times, his mind screaming at him on what it really was but not really comprehending it.  He stuck his finger out and touched the base and to his dismay his finger slipped into Steve’s ass.

Steve let out a yell.  “Tony!”

“Shit!” he exclaimed.  “I’m sorry!  I’ve only heard of these things in anime porn!”  His hand gripped the device tightly.  “I’m pulling this out in one go.  On three; one, two,” he pulled it out, “three!” 

Steve’s body went stiff as the thing was removed.  He slowly moved to his knees but his movements were jerky.  Tears streamed down his eyes as a fiery red blush covered his face.  “Tony,” he licked his lips.  “I need…I need….”

Tony was instantly in front of him.  He wiped the tears away from his friend’s face.  “Talk to me Steve,” he whispered.  “What do you need?”

The blush intensified.  “The rod,” he choked out.  “Please….I just need….can you…..please….”

“The rod?” Tony asked, finally looking down at the strange piercing at the tip of Steve’s dick.  There was a metal wire snuggly wrapped underneath the head and another piece of wire went from the head to the tip of piercing, which was starting to look more like a cap.  He frowned at the design.  “What the hell is that?  Seriously, _what the hell is that?_ ”

 _“A prince’s wand,”_ JARVIS answered.  _“The metal rod is inserted in –“_

“Lay off the porn, JARVIS,” Tony muttered.  “Can I remove it without hurting Steve?”

_“I believe you simply pull it out Sir.”_

“Great,” he mumbled.  He looked at the super soldier.  “Steve, I’m going to pull this thing out.  Whatever reaction you have, I’m not going to judge.”

Steve buried his head into Tony’s neck and grunted.  “Just do it.”

Following the directions that JARVIS presented through the lenses, Tony removed the strange ring around Steve’s cockhead and slowly pulled the wand out.  He bit his lip when Steve bit into his shoulder, his screams muffled into the jacket.  When the rod was finally out, Steve snapped his head back and let out a yell as he came.  Tony felt his hands and clothes being covered by warmth as Steve collapse around him.  The room was silent until sobbing was heard.

Quickly wiping his hands on his suit jacket, Tony wrapped his arms around Steve.  “You’re okay,” he whispered in what he hoped was comforting.  “You did well.”  His fingers went into his hair.  “There’s nothing to be ashamed of.”  He felt the tears against his neck as the sobbing went louder.  “You were so brave.  I’m sorry that I couldn’t get to you in time.  Please forgive me for being late.  I’ve should’ve been here sooner.”  Steve dug his nails into Tony’s back as he continued to sob.  “Please forgive me.”

 _“Sir, the suit has been waiting at the window for the last fifteen minutes,”_ JARVIS’s voice whispered.  _“The strike force has successfully detained the individuals in the ballroom and is now searching for the victims.  I would kindly suggest that you should escort Captain Rogers back to SHIELD.  Dr. Banner will be waiting for you on the roof.”_

Tony blinked.  Fifteen minutes?  The whole ordeal was only fifteen minutes?  It felt like hours when he entered the penthouse and found Steve bounded.  He gently pulled away from the super soldier and just brushed the blond hair away from his face.  Steve flinched at the contact and his eyes had a distant look to them.  Tony had seen that look before.  A former classmate had that look.

“Steve?” he whispered, trying not to think about his classmate.

Suddenly Steve was pawing at the armor.  His movements were frantic as he tried to rip the offending article off.  “Get it off,” he panted.  “It’s tainted.”  His eyes looked distressed.  “Dirty.”

Fearing that he would hurt himself, Tony helped Steve removed the remaining pieces of the uniform.  Steve quickly removed the harness that was hanging around his hips and threw it across the room.  Ignoring the strange way Steve went silent after the bout of emotion and how he was just standing in the middle of the room naked; Tony searched the bedroom for any article of clothing.  He practically shouted for joy when he found a white robe hanging in the closet.  He slid the soft robe onto Steve and made a mental note that the distant look had returned.  Making sure that nothing was left behind and SHIELD having enough evidence; Tony tossed the remaining articles of the uniform, the restraints, and the harness into a pillowcase.

Steve flinched at the pillowcase in Tony’s hands.  “No.”  He shook his head.

“I have to,” Tony answered.  He quickly went to his friend’s side and gently cupped his face.  “We need all the evidence that’s available and we are going to find the bastard that did this to you,” he promised, mentally cringing at how lifeless Steve’s beautiful blue eyes were.  “The more physical evidence we have the less you have to tell them.  I’m going to protect you, Steve.”

There was a hitched in his breath and Tony thought he was going to burst into tears.  “I need to tell them,” he said in a voice so soft.  “They need to know.”

Tony thinks he understands.  “Okay,” he replied just as softly.  “You’ll tell them.  And I’ll be there protecting you.”  He smiled under the dire situation.  “Your chariot awaits my dear capitaine.  If you just give me a few minutes, we will be on our way.  JARVIS, let’s get the hell out of here.”

The window exploded behind him and the suit came flying in.  Tony took a deep breath and stuck out his arms and the suit quickly encased itself around him.  The HUD came to life and Tony couldn’t help but smile that he was back in a more comfortable setting.  He slid his arm around Steve’s waist and gently pulled him against the suit.  Steve wrapped his arms around the suit’s neck and buried his head into the chest.  The pillowcase was snatched off the floor and Tony took off through the blown out window.  He hovered outside for a few seconds before firing a missile.  The penthouse exploded.  It wasn’t much but it did give Tony some form of satisfaction.  Making sure that Steve was secure, Iron Man plotted his direction and flew back to the SHIELD facility.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the comments!
> 
> Please enjoy and love!
> 
> Warning: A brief graphic discussion about Steve's ordeal. Also, my attempt to make Bruce sound like a scientist.

Bruce was already at the helipad with a wheelchair waiting.  Making sure not to jostle Steve, Tony landed with the upmost care and let Bruce gently pry the super soldier from his arm.  The good doctor took one look and gave Tony a slight shake of his head. He interpreted it as the “ _this doesn’t look good”_ head shake.

“Steve,” Bruce greeted warmly.  “I’m glad you’re here.”  He gently led him to the waiting wheelchair.  “Why don’t we go inside and give you an exam?”

Steve froze, his face quickly contorting into panic.  “Don’t worry buddy,” Tony reassured.  “Nothing bad is going to happen.  It’s Bruce.  Bruce is safe.  I did promise that nothing is going to hurt you.”  Bruce raised an eyebrow and didn’t say a word.  Tony threw the pillowcase at his friend instead of answering the unspoken question.

Steve seemed to relax for a second.  “Are you going be in there with me?”  His voice sounded oddly young and distant.

Tony wanted to say no but he realized that might not be the best answer.  The man in front of them wasn’t the Steve they knew and love; Tony gave him a reassuring smile.  “Of course, I’ll be there in a few minutes.  Gotta take the suit off, you can go ahead and get started.” 

“Only a few minutes?”

“Ten minutes top.”

Bruce smiled.  “If you want, we can wait for Tony.”  Steve nodded eagerly.  “Alright, then why don’t you sit down and we’ll wait for him in exam room three.”  He managed to get Steve in the wheelchair and before pushing the man off, Bruce shot Tony a comforting look.

Tony crumbled once Steve and Bruce left.  He didn’t know if it was from relief or sadness but whatever it was, it was emotionally draining.  Shaking his head to clear his mind, Tony flew the suit to the hanger.   He promised Steve ten minutes and he was going to make sure that he was in medical in less than a minute.  He took a step forward as the suit began unfolding away from him.  His second step had the suit flying back to the pod.  His third step had Clint appearing.

“Don’t have the time to stop, Legolas,” Tony snapped brushing past the archer.  “I have a deadline that I actually want to keep.”

“Natasha’s pissed,” Clint hissed keeping pace.  “You purposely cut off the feed!”

“The footage from the ballroom is enough evidence and I just gave Bruce a pillowcase of more evidence!” Tony snarled.  “And honestly I don’t give a _flying fuck_ if she’s pissed!  I’ll happily give her a rusty spoon so she can carve out my balls!”

Clint was silent either from shock or avoiding the obvious question, honestly Tony didn’t care.  “How is he?” he whispered.

“Not good,” Tony answered.  “The man I saw was not Steve.  Whoever took him, broke him.”

“Shit.”  There was a pause.  “What about you?”

“Just peachy,” he snarked stomping away from the archer.  “It’s not every day you get to see someone you care deeply about become an object.”

Clint grabbed his arm and tugged hard.  Tony spun on his feet and quickly found himself staring into eyes that were filled with grief, pain, and fear.  “Are you and Steve….. _together?_ ”

Tony shook his head.  He shouldn’t be angry at Clint; the archer went through his own personal hell when he found out that Coulson was critically injured.  “No,” an unsteady sigh escaped from his lips, “I just realized how important he is to me in the last couple of weeks.”  He licked his lips.  “Clint, I need to go.  I promised Steve that I’ll be there.  And I don’t want to break that promise.”

Clint let go of his arm.  “Take care of him, Tony.  There will be a debriefing once Fury gets here.”

Tony glanced at his watch and realized that he was still wearing the jacket that was covered in ejaculation.  “I have to go, Clint.”

Clint nodded and Tony took off.  He tugged the jacket off and tossed it to the first junior agent he saw.  “Burn it,” he ordered to the surprised agent.  “If you don’t and I find out, and believe me I will, your life will be in hell.”

He didn’t hear the frighten agent’s reply as he rounded the corner and jogged down the medical corridor.  Exam room three was on his left and inside was Bruce reading what appeared to be a file but no Steve.  Bruce looked up from the file when he heard the sliding doors opening and gave Tony a relieved smile.

“Where’s Steve?” Tony asked hoping he didn’t sound like he was panicking but the way Bruce thinned his lips, he figured he was wrong.

“Steve is through those doors.”  Bruce pointed at another set of sliding doors behind him.  He picked up a small tranquilizer gun.  “I ran some numbers a couple of times and the Hulk dart can be used on him.  He needs to rest and this will help him.”  He frowned.  “It doesn’t take a genius to know what happen to him.  I constantly had patients that had that look.  But on Steve….I mean….I’m not saying….”  He slammed his hand on the table.  “God, Tony!  _It’s Steve!_ ”

“I know!  Did you look in the pillowcase?”

Bruce chuckled darkly.  “Unfortunately yes, and I don’t want to think how long Steve wore _that_.”  He waved towards the doors.  “He’s waiting, let’s go.”

Tony followed Bruce and saw Steve sitting on a bed wearing a medical robe with his head down and his hands in his lap.  The posture made Steve appear very young and innocent.  He looked up when Bruce gently rested his hand on his shoulder.  That distant look was still there and once again Tony wished he killed everyone in that ballroom.

“You’re here,” Steve said sounding way too relieved.

“I promised you, didn’t I?” Tony remarked leaning against a nearby counter.  He smiled when Steve gave his usual bashful grin.

Bruce pulled on a pair of exam gloves.  “Steve,” he began, “I’m going to start the exam and then there will be a series of questions.  It’s going to be uncomfortable but it needs to be done.”  He hesitated.  “There will be some touching.”

Steve nodded.  “I understand.”

There were no more words when Bruce started the exam.  He kept it purely medical but Tony saw the minute twitches in his face when he wrote something on the clipboard.  Steve hardly showed any emotion during the exam; he just bit his lip and closed his eyes when it became too invasive.  Tony found himself moving closer to his friend, he wanted to hold Steve but was afraid that the super soldier would panic and lash out.  But when Steve reached out, Tony didn’t think twice when he took Steve’s hand between his. When the exam ended the questions began.

Tony was horrified when he heard about Steve’s ordeal.  The things that they did to him and how they treated him was absolutely disgusting.  He made a risky move by sitting next to Steve but was rewarded when the man leaned against him.  Bruce sat nearby scribbling away while asking more questions.  Tony knew that Bruce needed to record everything but Steve was sounding more distant every time he went into detail.

“Were they HYDRA?” Bruce asked as he wrote a quick notation on the clipboard.

Steve shook his head.  “No,” he answered fiddling with the bandages around his wrist.  “Nothing about them screamed HYDRA.”  He took a deep breath.  “I wanted to break those bounds but I couldn’t.  Everything hurt, I couldn’t focus, and it felt like my skin was on fire.”  He bowed his head in shame.  “Even if I could, I wouldn’t.”

Bruce glanced at Tony.  “Why is that?”

“They kept telling me that they had the team and every day they made listen.”

“Listen?”

“The torture,” Steve’s voice began to shake.  “I was blindfold and it sounded so real!  And one of them kept laughing at me as I pleaded for them to stop!  Tony’s was the worst.  They always made me hear Tony’s.  They loved setting that one up, describing to me how they had him tied down.  How they made him bled and begged.”  He swallowed.  “I remembered hearing water.”

Tony was startled.  “Water?”  He quickly moved towards the nearest computer console and began typing.  SHIELD keeps forgetting that he could get into their system without JARVIS’s help.  He found what he was looking for and hit enter.  “Did it sound something like this?”

The exam room was filled with noises of struggle, water, and pleadings.  Steve’s eyes went wide.  “Yes,” he whispered.  “That was one of them.”  Bruce was at his side when he began to tremble.

“Afghanistan,” Tony replied hotly.  “They used Afghanistan.”

Bruce eyes widened.  “How did they know?”

An intense overwhelming rage consumed Tony.  He pushed himself away from the console and stormed out of medical without saying a word.  Any agent that was in his way was pushed into the walls as he ran through the corridor, finding the man that he desperately wanted to hit and inform.  He completely forgotten about the mini-HUD glasses until he ran a shaky hand over his face.  The lenses lit up and gave the layout of the facility when he flipped the connection.

“JARVIS!” he barked.  “Find me Fury!”

_“Director Fury is in a conference room that is one corridor away from you.”_

Following JARVIS’s directions, Tony ran to the mentioned room and with perverse pleasure kicked the door open.  He could smell the electricity in the air before spotting Thor standing in the corner looking liked he was going to declare war.  Clint and Natasha were calmly seated at the table with frowns on their faces.  Tony knew from previous missions that those two were vibrating with pure rage.  Fury glanced up and gave him an unimpressed look.

“They knew,” Tony said in a low deadly voice.

The tension in the room grew and Fury actually looked surprised.  “HYDRA?”

Tony shook his head.  “Not HYDRA,” he answered.  “Someone knew his weakness.  Someone knew how to torture Steve.  They used information on us to torture him.”  He narrowed his eyes.  “They used Afghanistan.”

“SHIELD,” Natasha whispered icily.  Her voice echoed in the stunned silence.

Tony pointed a finger at Fury.  “You better start talking, Nicky, because no one in this room will stop Bucky when he kills you.”

Bruce closed the door at the tail end of the threat and nodded.  “It would be justifiable,” he replied and gave a strained smile fingers gripping tightly on a folder.  “Steve has been sedated and stabilized.”  He took a deep breath.  “Please bear in mind that what I’m going to say will be graphic.”  He waited until he had everyone’s attention before opening the folder.  “According to Steve, it was a below-grade recon mission.  Collect data, take down hostiles if needed, and leave without anyone knowing.  Once at the location, he knew that something wasn’t right but he was taken down before he had a chance to escape.  There’s a slight lump on the back of his head to suggest that a blunt-force object was used, so I’m guessing that Steve had a severe concussion at least during the first week of his detainment.

“There are bruises and scars around his wrists and ankles.  I’m assuming that he was constantly tied down by his captors.  The bindings that Tony brought back are made of an alloy that Steve cannot break but caused an allergic reaction to the skin.  With the serum working overtime for the concussion and the scaring; the infection took over his body making him delirious.  For a better idea, think of Superman in constant exposure of Kryptonite.”

 Natasha frowned.  “I would’ve used that to my advantage.”

“They did,” Bruce continued.  “From what Steve explained, he was in constant isolation.  He was sensory depraved by being blindfolded and the lack of human touch.  The cell was constantly cold which made the serum healed everything slowly.  It was easy for his captors to create a reality that we were being torture.”

Bruce shut the folder and rubbed his eyes.  “That’s not all,” he started.  “Steve was sexually assaulted.  Repeatedly and constantly with machines or devices.  There’s tissue damage and I’m not sure if the serum would be able to fix that.”

Thor pushed himself away from the wall.  “We must find this dishonorable coward!  They must pay for the horror they placed on our Captain!”

“The Avengers are not getting involved.”

The room froze as every head turn towards Fury.  “Excuse me?” Clint growled.  His fingers twitched in action.  “We are _soooo_ getting involved.”

“We have every right to get involved,” Natasha replied evenly, her eyes flashed murder.  “He is our friend.”

“And I said that the Avengers are not getting involved!” Fury snapped.  “This matter was already assigned to someone else.”

“Thirteen?” Natasha asked.  Approval was apparent in her voice.

Tony perked up at the name.  Sharon Carter would be perfect for the investigation.  She was quick, efficient, and deadly.  And since Steve was her BFF, she would personally make sure that the bastard’s body would never be found.

“Not Agent Carter,” Fury answered destroying Tony’s fantasy of Sharon removing the bad guy’s heart out with her bare hand.  “I need them alive.  I want to know why they went after Captain America.” 

“Then who?” Tony growled.

“Coulson,” Fury answered.  “He has a team.”

Tony didn’t miss the way Clint flinched at the man’s name.  “You just said that you wanted this person alive and you’re sending Coulson?” he asked with a laugh.  “Plus he has that boy band that is willing to kick puppies to get a smile from him.”

As usual, Fury ignored him.  “As of right now, the Avengers are on leave until further notice.  Captain Rogers will be on medical leave for an undisclosed time and is required to see a SHIELD appointed therapist.”  He glared at Natasha and Clint.  “You will not get involved in Coulson’s investigation unless otherwise noted.”  Then he narrowed his eye.  “You will not get Agent Thirteen, the Falcon, and the Soldier involved in the investigation.”

“And what do we do in the mean time?” Bruce asked sounding annoyed.  “Except for Tony, we don’t exactly have a job.”

“Pepper might disagree with you on that,” Tony offered.

Fury sighed.  “I’m sure SHIELD will have something for you to do, Dr. Banner.”  He looked at everyone in the room.  “Listen, I know you want to find the bastard.”  His voice was soft and sympathetic.  “I would love to see the Hulk rip every limb off, no one deserves to go through that hell but we are going to trust Coulson.”  He frowned.  “If this is somehow SHEILD related, then we have to keep this under the radar because I’m not letting that bastard get away.  Everyone is dismissed.”

The tone spoke violence and no one wanted to voice their opinion.  One by one, everyone grudgingly left the room.  Tony was the last one to leave when Fury called out to him.  “Hill wants a statement from you regarding to your discovery of Captain Rogers.”

Tony paused at the door and quickly counted to ten.  “There’s nothing to say,” he answered darkly.  “What I saw will only be between Steve and me.”

“I’ll let her know that information is classified,” Fury answered.  Tony quickly left the room because he swore he could hear the approval in the director’s voice.

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, thank you for the comments and encouragement!
> 
> A complete rewrite from Writer's Block Cures. Going with my little headcanon that Sharon and Tony grew up together and are very close with Peggy being the fun Aunt. As for timeline, current year (without the events after 2012 Avengers). I'm also following Marvel Wiki for ages and timeline; meaning Tony was born in 1970 and Steve was born in 1918 (crash in 1945). Not sure how old Sharon should be, so I went with 1983.
> 
> A little short but enjoy!

Tony returned to exam room after his brief conversation with Fury.  He gave Bruce a nod when the doctor looked up from a thick file blinking owlishly at him, glasses dangling at the edge of his nose.  He looked old and haggard, instead of rumpled and disarrayed.  He sighed in greeting as he removed his glasses to rub the bridge of his nose.

“Any changes?” Tony asked pushing himself up on the desk that Bruce was working on.

“Nothing,” Bruce answered quietly.  “I’m not sure that’s good news or bad news.  I’ve requested a SHIELD medical doctor that’s knowledgeable in trauma to see if the scarring will heal.  Especially around the,” he swallowed, “ _you know_.”

“Is that a good idea to have someone we don’t know checking on Steve?”

“I’m not a medical doctor,” he reiterated.  “I have an educated guess but I’m not liking the answer.  The doctor can help me.”  He placed a comforting hand on Tony’s knee.  “I’ll be in the room the whole time.  I’m not letting strangers see Steve without my supervision.”

Tony poked at the file.  “What’s this?”

“The SHIELD appointed therapist.  She’s good.  I think she can help Steve.”

“What if she can’t?” Tony hated how small he sounded.

Bruce squeezed his knee.  “We can’t think that way.”  He glanced at the door behind him.  “You’re welcome to see Steve but you’ll have to share, Sharon’s here.”

“I thought she was in Chicago for a mission,” Tony replied wondering how much she knew and how much he was going to tell her.  “She must’ve finished early.”

Bruce shrugged.  “Didn’t ask.  Just checked Steve’s vitals and told her that she’ll have to leave when the doctor comes in.”  He glanced at the clock.  “Which will be in forty-five minutes.”

Tony jumped off the desk heading to the second door.  “Thanks Bruce.”  And gave a gentle pat on the shoulder as he breezed by. 

He found Sharon sitting on the edge of the bed, gently sweeping a wayward strand of hair away from Steve’s forehead.  He could hear the soft lullaby she was singing, the same lullaby that Peggy sang when he was young.  The gentleness was an odd contrast to the dirty SHIELD uniform that she was still wearing.  She looked over when he cleared his throat and her blue eyes were bright with tears.

“Hey boss,” Sharon greeted.  A silly nickname that Tony demanded that he should be called when he babysat her.  Usually that nickname was used after something was destroyed and a defiant blonde toddler covered in soot would point at the equally dirty surly teen-ager shouting _“boss said it was okay!”_ to an exasperated housekeeper.  Peggy would always found it hilarious and constantly encouraged the two.

“Minion,” Tony replied opening his arms wide for a hug.  She rushed towards him wrapping her arms around his waist as Tony tucked her head under his chin.  He rubbed her back as she clung onto him as if he was going to protect her from all the evils in the world, including the boogey man.

“He was gone for three weeks.”  Her voice cracked.  “Three weeks and nothing.”  She stepped away trying to compose herself but failing miserably.  “You searched for him!  I’ve searched for him!  There was nothing!”  Her face turned to an angry shade of red.  “I just got back from a mission and I’m hearing that Steve has been found and is injured, Coulson is leading the investigation, and no one will tell me anything until Sam and Bucky return!  Which won’t be for another twelve hours!’  The anger quickly evaporated and tears began to run.  “What happened, Tony?”

Tony took a deep breath before answering.  “Human trafficking.”  He reached out and gently wiped a stray tear from her cheek with his thumb.  “His tormentors tied him down and played mind games.  They blindfolded him and kept him isolated.  They used…they forced….they….”  He couldn’t say the word, because saying it would make the whole situation absolute. 

Sharon’s blue eyes widen and he saw the disbelief in them.  “No,” she whispered shaking her head.  “That can’t be true.”  Her hands gripped his tuxedo shirt.  “That’s not a funny joke!”

He pried her fingers from his shirt and held them tight.  “I was the one that found him.”  Sharon collapse forward and wailed.  “I’m sorry minion.”  Tony held her tightly as he cried with her.  “I was too late.  Please forgive me.”

“Oh boss,” Sharon weep.  “It’s not your fault.”

“It should be.”

Tony yelped when Sharon pulled the hair at the back of his head.  “It’s not your fault,” she ground out.  “It’s that bastard’s fault!  We’re going to find him and make sure that he doesn’t breathe again!”  Her eyes narrowed to dangerous slits.  “We’ll salt the earth if we have to.”

The heart monitor beeped wildly and Tony watched the deadly glint disappeared from her eyes, too stunned to say anything else.  She was back at Steve’s bedside cooing words of comfort with Tony following right behind her.  The heart monitor raced for a few more seconds before slowing down to a more sedate pace that was normal for the super soldier.  Steve was covered in a layer sweat as he twitched and whimpered in his sleep.  His hands curled and uncurled as he twitched and whimpered.

Sharon ran her fingers through his hair.  “Is it wrong that I’m hoping that his nightmares are from the war?”

“No.”  He leaned against her.  “How are we going to tell Peggy?”

Peggy Carter was a constant fixture in the Stark household.  Always laughing and having tea with Maria in the parlor, gossiping with Jarvis in the kitchen, ranting to Howard in his lab, and kissing Tony on the cheek making sure her red lipstick leaves a mark.  She was the fun aunt.  When Peggy retired from SHIELD, she moved to Boston to be near her nephew and his young family and Tony lived with her during his undergrad years.

After his parents died, he tried to distance himself from Peggy.  He regretted those years, he had a hard time coping and instead of going to someone that could help him, he developed addictions that almost gotten him expelled or killed.  It was during his twenty-third birthday when Peggy stormed into the hospital room while his stomach was getting pumped and ordered that he was going to rehab.  To this day, Tony still doesn’t know how she was able to obtain a court order without the media finding out.

Sharon gripped his hand.  “Let me talk to her.  I’m the better liar than you.”

Tony chuckled and checked his hip into her.  The two stayed silent and watched Steve settle down to what could be calmness.  It should be weird for him to watch the sleeping super soldier but it felt like he was keeping the promise that he made at the penthouse.  He would protect Steve.  He would do everything in his power to make sure that he was safe.

She startled him when she took his hand and placed it in Steve’s hand.  “Sharon….” 

“Even though I think Fury should let us find the bastard, Coulson is the best choice,” Sharon interrupted, resting her hand over the clasped ones.  “He also has the most efficient team.”  She turned her head and looked into Tony’s eyes.  “He will find him, you do know that.”

Tony sighed.  “I know.  I’ve always trust Agent.  But I don’t know how I can trust him with this investigation.  What happens he screws up?  Or his team?  We can’t let bastard get away.”

She frowned.  “Phil knows what it’s like to be helpless, Tony,” making sure not to raise her voice.  “Loki took Clint and his life.  He’s still fighting for Clint.  He doesn’t want anyone to through the pain that he went through.”

“You do know that Steve and I are not together.  I care for him….I mean….I realized….I….”  He didn’t know how to finish that sentence.

She gave him a knowing smile.  “Take care of him, boss,” she whispered kissing his cheek.  “I have to go; I need to prepare myself before the debriefing.  Bucky isn’t going to take the news well and someone needs to be near him when he explodes.”

Tony watched her leave before realizing that he was still holding Steve’s hand.  Instead of letting go, he brought the hand to his lips and gently placed a kiss on the knuckles.  He swore he felt Steve gripped his hand a little bit tighter.  A small part of him wondered if Steve returned his feelings, that maybe this attraction isn’t one-sided.  That maybe something could happen between them.

“Believe it or not, I’m a patient man,” he muttered into the hand.  “I’ll wait for you.  No matter how long it will take, I will wait for you.”


	4. Chapter 4

The next seventy-two hours were a whirlwind of information that no one wanted to hear.  Tony felt like he was part of a bad joke when he met the doctor, the scientist, and the therapist in the small conference room.  He had met the scientist before through Coulson and it was a little strange to see her without her best friend.  Jemma, her last name eluding him at the moment, was compassionate and bright as she stumbled over her words trying to explain the alloy reaction to the serum to a room filled with assassins and spies that have no scientific background.  His genius intellect barely understood her explanation and Thor looked just as puzzled; which was surprising since his knowledge of astrophysics was mind-boggling. 

The doctor, on the other hand, was grim as he carefully explained that the scarring around Steve’s ankles would eventually heal since they had minimal contact to the alloy but the wrists were going to be permanently scarred.  He coughed into his fist when he mentioned that the scarring in the _private areas_ would never heal since the serum focused on the concussion, the fever, and the allergic reaction.  A piece of the mahogany conference table snapped under Bucky’s grip and Sam quickly ushered him out.

The therapist had kind eyes and she explained in a professional matter how she might apply several case studies to Steve’s sessions.  She emphasized that Steve won’t recover overnight and it might be years before he could be himself.  Tony heard the hidden meaning in her words; Steve might not be himself again, and he knew that everyone in the conference room heard the same thing.

During that time, Steve was kept in medical for a variety of tests with Bruce acting as a medical proxy even though he had no legal documentation.  The two were waiting at the quinjet when everyone arrived at the landing pad.  Steve was pale and looked like he hasn’t eaten during those few days.  He was trying to make himself look smaller, hunching his body and avoiding any possible eye contact. 

“Hey punk,” Bucky greeted with a hesitant smile.  His eyes darted to Bruce which the doctor just gave a head nod.  “Wanna go home?”  Bruce beamed at the question and Bucky instantly relaxed.

Steve didn’t look up.  “Can I sit next to you?”  His voice was quiet and unsure.

Bucky looked flabbergasted but didn’t say anything except offered his good arm to his oldest friend.  Steve paused before slipping his hand around the arm but refused to move until everyone boarded before him.  The flight was long and quiet as Steve sat still, refusing to close his eyes when it was obvious he needed to sleep.  It was a fear that Tony can relate to since he had many sleepless nights after Afghanistan and the Battle of New York.  He swallowed down the nausea that was brewing; now wasn’t the time to have a panic attack.  Steve was suffering and his own personal issues were not going to help him.

Bucky gasped when the quinjet landed.  “Steve,” he whispered loudly, “your nails are digging into my arm.”

“I need to go last,” Steve demanded breathing hard.  “I need to make sure that everyone leaves.  No surprises.”

Bruce exhaled.  “There won’t be any surprises,” he reassured.  “We’ll wait for you outside.  Would you like Bucky to walk with you?”

Steve nodded and with Bruce’s gentle urging, everyone departed making sure that Steve saw them leave.  Bucky exited first with Steve trailing behind him but his hand still gripped his friend’s good arm.  It wasn’t right, Captain America shouldn’t look afraid.  Steve Rogers shouldn’t look defeated.  The man that Tony care deeply about shouldn’t be a shell.  Suddenly he felt claustrophobic even though he was standing outside. 

“I need to go,” he rasped out feeling the panic clawing its way to the surface.   “Please.”  He didn’t care that he was begging.

Understanding reflected in Bucky’s eyes.  “Not a problem Stark,” he answered.  “We were going to take the stairs anyways.”  He gave a wave.  “I’ll talk to you later.”

Tony smiled in relief and bolted to the waiting elevator.  He was ashamed because it felt like he was abandoning Steve but the stress from the last three days was at the breaking point and Tony was afraid what his reaction was going to be.  He didn’t want Steve to be afraid of him when all he want to do was comfort the man.  Tony took a deep breath and felt his throat restrict.  The second breath was even shorter.  He clawed at the paneling as each breath went shorter and shorter.

There was a beep. 

And then a chirp.

Tony blinked at the hazy silhouette standing at the elevator doors.  The silhouette beeped again sounding very worried.  “Dummy?” he ventured trying to get his eyes to focus as his breathing returned to normal.  “Dummy, is that you?”

The hazy silhouette slowly solidified to the familiar bot.  Dummy made a little wiggle in acknowledgment and made a “come here” gesture with its claw.  Tony choked out a laugh and slowly left the elevator, letting the bot push him to a workbench.  An unfinished project was waiting, contents spread all over the tabletop.  Tony remembered dropping everything when JARVIS informed him that SHIELD found Steve.  There were multiple of tiny gears strewn across the tabletop but he couldn’t remember what he was creating.  He moved the gears around with his index finger feeling numb and detached.

He turned when Dummy whirled for his attention.  The little bot was holding a glass filled with the green smoothie he always drank.  He accepted the glass even though he wasn’t thirsty and Dummy wheeled away humming happily.  He stared at the smoothie unsure what to do with it when a sudden surge of anger went through him; the glass was thrown with a vicious force but it wasn’t enough.  Grabbing a pipe from another workbench, Tony began beating the unfinished project with hatred and brutality.  He yelled as parts went flying in multiple directions.  He was seething when he chucked the pipe across the room not caring about the sound of destruction it made.  He banged his fists on the workbench and let out a wounded scream before collapsing forward covering his face with his bruised hands and sobbed.

It must’ve been ten minutes before Dummy nudged him.  “Leave me alone,” he growled.  Dummy buzzed angrily and nudged him again.  “I said, leave me alone!”  Tony spun to the silly bot.  “What part of _leave me alone_ you’re not getting, you stupid bot!” 

Dummy stood tall and pointed at the workbench with his claw.  “It can’t be fixed!” he spat.  The bot pointed at the bench again.  “It can’t be fixed!  It’s broken and it will never be the same again!  What are you doing?  Don’t pick that up!  Stop!  Just st-“

Tony paused when Dummy held a small brass wingnut and chirp.  The slightly tarnished nut had a small scratch, the only indication that it went through a beating during Tony’s rage.  “It can be fixed,” he whispered taking the little hardware.  “It won’t be the same,” he glanced at the destroyed project, “but it would be better.”  He rested his forehead on the strut and laughed.  “Clean up the mess, you crazy bot.”  Pocketing the wingnut, Tony grabbed a screwdriver.  “JARVIS, queue up Queen.  This calls for some Freddie Mercury.”

_We Will Rock You_ started to blare as Tony sat down twirling the screwdriver and stared at the tiny gears on the workbench.  “Eureka,” he smirked and began to create.

The album wasn’t even finished when a bottle of bourbon appeared directly in front of him.  Cursing at the disruption he narrowed his eyes at the visitor.  “That’s not your usual bottle, Barnes,” he commented dryly.  He glared at a nearby wall.  “Aren’t you suppose to inform me about visitors?”

“Apologies Sir,” JARVIS answered non-apologetically.  “Sergeant Barnes politely requested that his visit should be unannounced.”

Tony scoffed.  “Politely requested?”

Bucky shrugged.  “I can be a classy bastard,” he retorted.  His good hand placed two crystal snifters, which were Tony’s, on the workbench.  “But I don’t want to.”

It was fascinating to watch Bucky open the expensive bottle with his inorganic hand.  The metal plates moved silently and smoothly as he poured two fingers worth of bourbon in each snifter.  It was one of his best designs but the cost to manufacture for general use was too expensive.  He accepted the glass and took a sip.  The bourbon burned nicely down his throat but it curdled in his stomach forcing him to set the glass down.

“How’s Steve?”

There was a slight tremor in Bucky’s good hand as he placed the snifter down on the workbench.  “He’s okay, I guess?”  His voice was unusually soft and quiet.  “He knows he’s safe but you can tell he’s stress.  Dr. Banner is debating if he should give him another tranquilizer.”  He rubbed the back of his neck.  “I want to thank you for what you did.  You saved his life.”

Tony twisted uncomfortably on the stool.  “For three weeks he was torture and abused.  All I did was being more than fashionably late.”

Bucky was silent and Tony could see that the man was trying to collect his thoughts.  “But you didn’t broadcast it,” he said finally.

The effects of his emotional breakdown quickly ignited the simmering anger.  “Fuck you!” Tony screamed jumping off the stool to get into Bucky’s space.  “I may be an asshole and my sexual preferences may be unconventional but I never exploited anyone that has been raped!”  He gave Bucky a hard shove.  “I had a classmate that took her own life because her rapist walked free!  My money, not SI or the Foundation, is fully invested into programs and laws that help and protect survivors of rape!”  He hits the reactor ignoring the pain it brought to his chest.  “MY MONEY!”  He was breathing hard.  “I never forced myself on anyone because I actually know what no means!  So fuck you!”

Bucky blinked a couple of times before his face paled.  “Shit!  That’s not what I meant!”  He rubbed his face.  “I didn’t mean that!”  A huff of air escaped his lips.  “I’m not explaining this right!”

“Then explain or get the fuck out of my tower!”

“You told the director that it was classified!” he shouted.  “Your fancy-dancy glasses could’ve recorded every little detail in that room!  You had more evidence than King Tut’s riches!”  He angrily wiped his eyes.  “Instead you gave them enough physical evidence to get the bastards without taking away Steve’s dignity!”

Tony huffed.  “Romanov and Barton would’ve done the same.”

Bucky shook his head.  “Natasha and Clint would’ve follow protocol.  And you know it.”  He started playing with the tiny gears on the workbench.  “I’m trying my best not to get involved in Coulson’s investigation.  He can find the guy and get answers.  I’ll just find the guy and kill him.”  He smirked.  “Maybe I’ll convince your AI to go all HAL 9000 on the guy.”

“I was considering Terminator, Sergeant Barnes,” JARVIS happily supplied.

Tony barked out a laugh, the tension and anger slowly ebbing away.  “Wow, I keep forgetting that you’re a Kubrick fan.”  He smirked at a nearby camera. “JARIVS, no Skynet.”

“I fully support your Skynet desires,” Bucky retorted.  “Just remember me when you take over the world.”

“Duly noted.”

Bucky was normally the “to-the-point” guy; always stating the obvious and only deflects when something is bothering him.  He was really deflecting if he’s making bad movie puns and arranging the tiny gears in neat little rows.  “Was there a point to this?” Tony edged.

“Steve doesn’t know this but….” Bucky hesitated looking like he was going to expose a deep dark secret.  “He doesn’t know that I knew he was a _fairy…gay? ...poof? …homosexual? ..._ I don’t know what the correct term is but the point is that I knew.”

Tony raised an eyebrow.  “So?”

Bucky looked confused by the response.  “I almost walked away from him!” he explained.  “It was one thing to defend your best friend that was weak, no matter how many fights he got himself into, but it’s another thing if your best friend was…. _a queer_.”  The last two words were whispered out.

“Still not the correct term.”

“Shut up Stark!”  Bucky ran his hands through his hair in frustration.  “What I’m trying to say is that I always stood by him.  Supported him when he needed it.  When he finally told me that he was attracted to men, I kissed him.”

Tony’s jaw dropped, he wasn’t expecting that.  “But you’re straight.”

“Tell me about it.”  Bucky forced out a laugh.  “At the time I thought the reason why I stayed with him because I like men too.”

Tony did laugh.  “I take it that didn’t go well.”

“He gave me a black eye and didn’t talk to me for a week.”  His face twisted into shame.  “I didn’t bother to ask, just cupped his face and kissed him.  Does that make me them?”

Tony finally understood the distress in the other man.  “Bucky,” Tony began.  “Everyone stole a kiss once.”

“It’s still forcing yourself on someone!” Bucky retorted, his voice becoming hysterical.  “Steve fought back but what about the girls I kissed?  Did they wanted it?  In my time, we called them teases.”

Tony gently reached out and touched his good arm.  “Did you do more?  Did you pull back when they show some hesitance?”

Bucky looked absolutely scandalized.  “My ma would’ve skinned me alive if I imposed on a girl!  I’m not a cad.” 

“Okay,” Tony breathed out.  “You’re just feeling guilty for all the stupid things you did and that’s okay that means you’re learning.  You have a brain after all.”

He watched the guilt and sorrow pulling away when Bucky let out a snort of some sort.  He couldn’t help but wonder if anyone else on the team was suffering silently; that their friend was hurt and there was nothing they can do.  He always focused his work on the survivors but what about the loved ones?  Are there resources for them?

“He likes you, you know.”  Bucky’s voice cuts through his thoughts.  “And it drove him crazy.”  He shook his head when Tony wanted to protest.  “His preferences were always fairer, had very little muscle, and…,” he gave Tony a once over, “…taller.”

Tony felt his face heating.  “Then why….”

“Because it wasn’t the right time,” Bucky cut him off.  “Your relationship with Ms. Potts ended and you needed to sow some oats.  He was going to ask you but…,” he face crumpled, “you know.”

“I’m not changing my mind because of this,” Tony answered confidently.  “I know things are going to be different and there might be a few snags along the way but I’m willing to do that.  I’m here to the end of the line.”

The smile he received was watery.  “You don’t have to tell me twice,” Bucky replied.  “You have to convince him.” 

 


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was rewritten several times. Hopefully the flow is still going smoothly.
> 
> Thank you for the comments! I'm enjoying the thoughts and opinions!

The numbers and diagrams swirled in front of Tony as he concentrated on the paperwork.  It was supposed to distract him, give him instant gratification but instead they gnashed on his nerves and offend him.  A few hours earlier, Pepper handed him the documents with a disappointed look before pulling him into a big hug and cried. The two talked; his feelings towards Steve and cultivating ideas for programs or funding regarding to rape survivors and their families. 

Pepper wiped her eyes one last time before collecting her notes.  “If there’s anything Steve, you, or the team needs please let me know,” kissing his cheek.  “You’re not alone.  No one is.”

Tony felt the tears prickling at the corner of his eyes.  “Thank you, Ms. Potts.”

“You’re welcome, Mr. Stark.”  She gently thumbed away a stray tear.  “I hate to leave you but there’s a defense contract meeting I have to attend.”  She walked away, stopping when she reached his office door.  “I mean it Tony, no one is alone.”  And left.

She was only gone for an hour and Tony haven’t even made a dent.  The paperwork wasn’t urgent or confidential, just preliminary designs that should be easy for him to review but instead he stared at a badly designed drone.

It wasn’t an easy week for everyone in the tower.  SHIELD quickly reassigned Sam and Sharon to the west coast just to make sure that they didn’t get involve in the investigation.  Bruce managed to convince Fury that Bucky was family and should go on family medical leave not be reassigned.  Tony highly suspected that the director was expecting that argument.  Thor was becoming more aggressive and everyone was starting to worry that he might go rouge.  Clint became unusually quiet, fingers clutching the phone waiting for a call that Tony doesn’t think is going to happen.  Natasha appeared to be strong as she comforted Bucky but Tony was worried about her well-being, afraid that she might fall apart or do something radically drastic.

Steve was the most concerning.  His first night brought out screaming and thrashing that had to be controlled by a tranquilizer leaving everyone frazzled and anxious.  Bucky accidently brushed Steve with his metal arm and the man went catatonic.  Thor made the mistake of patting his shoulder from behind and the demi-god ended up across the room.  Steve took comfort on his floor sitting near the windows, body curled up but positioned in a way that he had a clear view of the open floor plan.  He rarely speaks and flinches when someone sits next to him but Tony felt some relief when Steve would quietly reach out with a finger or toe to touch the person next to him.  It wasn’t much but it was still an improvement.

The therapist visit daily but at the end of every session, she would just shake her head.  She would explain that it was common for someone that experienced severe trauma would refuse to talk and that everyone should be patient.  She stressed the importance of Steve initiating contact, letting him be the one to touch or hug.

“Mr. Stark?”

Tony tore his eyes away from the document and gave a frown.  “Who are you and how did you get in?” he asked studying the stranger standing at front of his desk.  The man was young, handsome, and seemed stand-offish.  He figured that the man has a personality of rock, so the visitor must be a SHIELD agent.

The man flashed his badge.  “Agent Grant Ward, SHIELD,” he replied stiffly, it was clear that he was uncomfortable.  “Ms. Potts said we could visit you.”

Tony leaned back in his chair smirking.  “So you’re one of Coulson’s.  Where is your fearless leader, moose?”  He raised an eyebrow.  “Or are you squirrel?”

Agent Ward actually looked confused by the question.  “Fearless leader was catching up with fearless CEO,” Coulson answered walking up to the desk with a slight smirk.  He patted the agent’s shoulder.  “Grant, why don’t you get yourself a drink.”  He nodded towards the small minibar.  “Ms. Potts said it was okay.”

“I don’t think….”

“Have a drink,” Tony interrupted while standing up.  “It’ll probably loosen you up.”  He ignored the dirty look from the younger agent.  “Agent.” He offered his hand.

Coulson accepted the gesture.  “Stark,” he greeted.  His smile was loose, gone where the days of tight smirks and even tighter words.

“Why do you get the young attractive team?” Tony asked leaning against the desk smiling when Ward began to cough in his drink.  “Though the personality on that one needs some work.”

“Excuse me?” Ward snarled.

“Easy there, Stark,” Coulson warned but he was smiling so Tony knew that the man was finding this humorous.  “Agent Ward was trained by Agent Barton.”

Tony blinked.  “Really?” he asked, Coulson nodded.  “But the stick is still rammed up his ass!”  Ward quickly turned away mumbling obscenities under his breath which made Tony smile even more.  “What can I do for you today, Coulson?”

The demeanor quickly changed.  “You were right about someone in SHIELD knowing,” Coulson said tightly, swiping through his notes on the Starkpad.  “My team questioned the auctioneer and he gave us some very useful information.”

“How illegal was the questioning?”

“He’s alive,” there was a twitch on his lips, “barely.”

Tony frowned.  “Should’ve killed him.”

“Finally someone agrees with me,” Agent Ward mumbled.

“I like him,” Tony said pointing at Agent Ward.  “Needs to work on the personality but I like him.”

“He’s mine,” Coulson sniffed.  “Unfortunately the auctioneer didn’t know the person.  Called themselves the Handler.  Everything was done by computer, so I let one of my agents handle it.”

“I could’ve done that.”

“You could but she’s better.  She’s been tracking the IP addresses and some other computer terms I didn’t understand to find the Handler.  The good news, the Handler is on the helicarrier.”

“Bad news?”

“My agent found a virus in the system.  Set to release some very uncomfortable videos of Captain Roger’s detainment.”

Tony froze.  “What?  Can we stop it?  JARVIS!  Please assist-“

Coulson raised his hand.  “Don’t worry,” he reassured.  “Skye was able to redirect the pathway of the virus to a very remote server on my bus.”

“Why can’t you destroy it?”

“Evidence for starters,” Coulson pointed out, “but if we try to do that, the virus will go mainstream and the videos will be on every major news agency in the world.”

“When do we find out?”

The Starkpad beeped.  “Right now,” he answered before turning to his phone.  “May? Coulson.  Skye located the Handler and sending you the information.  Just collect and deposit them into interrogation.”  He snapped his phone shut.  “Follow me, Stark.  I think you want to see this.”

“Sir,” Agent Ward replied stiffly.  “Mr. Stark is not Level 7.”

The look that Coulson gave made Ward flinched.  “Stark,” he said instead.  “Please follow me.”

Tony grabbed his suit jacket and followed Coulson out of his office.  “You do know that Natasha and Clint are going to find out,” he stated slipping on the jacket.  “They would want to meet this scum.”

Coulson didn’t bother giving an answer as he enter the elevator while scrolling through his tablet with latest information that Skye was transmitting.  His frown was getting tighter and Tony desperately wanted to see the information.  He could give a signal to JARVIS to transmit but decided that if he wanted Coulson’s trust during this investigation he would stay out of it unless otherwise. 

The three exited to a small aircraft parked on the rooftop helipad.  “Ward,” Coulson ordered not bothering looking up from the tablet, “stay here.”

“Sir?”  There was actual puzzlement on the young agent’s face.  Tony would find it amusing but he was just as confused.

“The plane is full,” Coulson explained.  “You need to sit out.”

“It should hold five, sir.”

Coulson stopped at the aircraft.  “And there’s no room for you.”  He waved his hand to Tony.  “Stark, you better move or I’ll leave you behind.”

Tony entered quickly and was surprised to see Thor strapped into one of the seats.  Natasha and Clint were sitting in the front preparing for takeoff.  He glanced at Coulson but the man gave him a slight shrug and sat down.  Completely baffled, Tony only managed to utter “what?”

“Sit down Stark,” Coulson ordered.  “May hates waiting.”

Clint snorted, the first real emotion from him since the beginning of the week.  “That’s an understatement.  She shot at me when I was late.”  The aircraft took off with a little turbulence which made Tony fall into his seat.

“I believe that was the Taliban,” Natasha replied coolly while checking the readouts.

“The Taliban was behind me,” Clint shot back.  “May was in front of me.”

They were only in the air for ten minutes, flying over the ocean before landing gently on the helicarrier.  Coulson was the first to stand up and gave everyone in the aircraft a dirty glare.  “I’m going to say this once,” he growled.  “You have no say during the interrogation.  You do not make suggestions or ask questions.  If you see something off, you inform me or May.  Do not talk to the suspect.”  He narrowed his eyes.  “Do I make myself clear?”  He didn’t wait for answer, just walked out of the aircraft and spoke to the Asian woman that was waiting outside.

Tony felt the anger and hatred in the remaining group.  He wiped his hands on his pants and stood up.  “Avengers, get your resting bitch face ready,” he announced plastering on his press conference smile, “and let’s go meet the bastard.”

He knew that they created a scene when the workers on the helicarrier just stopped and stared, Coulson just shook his head while the Asian woman raised an eyebrow.  Tony didn’t care that they presented a holier-than-thou attitude.  He wanted everyone to see that image.  He wanted everyone to understand that if they hurt one of their teammates, then hell was going to be paid.  He wanted everyone to fear them.

“I don’t know if I should be honor or disappointed that you left that for us, Phil,” the Asian woman said dryly.  The corner of her lip titled up in a smirk.  “Agent Melinda May.”

“Tony Stark,” he offered his hand which Agent May accepted with a strong firm grip.  “You probably trained the spy kids behind me,” he pointed his thumb at Clint and Natasha.  “And obviously that’s Thor.”

“Trained Romanov, shot Barton,” May replied which Clint shouted out _“told you so!”_   She gave an appraising look which startled Thor before turning her attention back to Coulson.  “Like I said a few minutes ago, the Handler has been detained.  Since we have the computer that actually did the transaction, Skye believes that the virus can be permanently removed without any of the videos being released.  Fitz is helping her with the coding.”

Coulson nodded.  “Good, we need all the evidence.  I want this airtight.”

Tony actually shivered when May actually smiled.  “So who wants to meet the Handler?”


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WARNING - TOPICS OF RAPE AND TORTURE ARE MENTIONED AND DESCRIBED!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your comments!
> 
> Feel free to leave thoughts!

The Handler was sitting calmly at the metal desk, hands cuffed in front, and had an air of disinterest that Tony could feel through the two-way mirror.  Thor was the first to react when he saw the Handler.  He let out a snort of disbelief and sparks of electricity ripple along his knuckles.  Clint was dumbstruck as he glanced at the Handler then to Coulson and back to the Handler.  Natasha showed no emotion but Tony knew she was taking in every detail of the person.

Because the Handler was a woman.

“I like to put it on record that I’m a sexist misogynistic asshole,” Tony announced pointing at the cuffed woman.  “I would like to add the word ‘cunt’ to the list of names we already call her.”

“Duly noted,” Coulson answered sounding shellshock.  “Anyone else wants the same personality description as Stark’s added to their files?”

Everyone, including Coulson, raised their hands.

Tony shivered when the Handler gave a bright smile and winked at the mirror.  The smile turned into a smirk when May entered.  She slammed a folder on the table but the Handler didn’t even flinched, just inspected her nails.

“Hello Agent May,” the woman purred.  “How are you today?”

“Agent Jane Collins,” May started, flipping the folder open with more force than necessary.  “You were one of the top five graduates at SHIELD Academy in information security and analysis.  Since then you have worked your way up to be one of the most respected analysts in SHIELD.  You have assisted with the CIA, FBI, Interpol, and other various agencies….”

“And orchestrated numerous recuse missions and infiltrated databases across the world….yadda…yadda….yadda….” Agent Collins spat with a roll of her eyes.  “I know why I’m here,” she leaned forward and Tony saw the gleam in her eyes.  “It’s about Captain Rogers.”

There was a twitch in May’s hand and Coulson was on his tablet typing furiously.  “Are you admitting?”

“That I arranged Captain Rogers’ capture, torture, and rape?”  Her eyes darted to the mirror and Tony swore that she was looking directly at him.  Clint flinched and he knew that the archer felt the same.  “I won’t answer unless _they_ are in the room.”

May glanced over her shoulder.  Agent Collins gave a cherry grin.

Clint looked completely unsure.  “Phil?”

“She could be playing us,” Natasha replied stiffly, her eyes still focused on Agent Collins.

“Aye,” Thor added, eyes narrowed but he wasn’t focusing on Agent Collins.  “But my brother came across a foe that played similar games like this viper and at the end he…. _we_ paid the price.”

Tony gave Thor a side-long glance.  There was story behind that comment. 

“Can I expect you be on your best behavior if I let you in there?” Coulson asked, his voice low and menacing.  There was silence but it appeared that the agent was expecting that.  “Threat still applies, follow me.”

Tony was the last to leave and it felt like he was going back to his captors when he entered the interrogation room.  May didn’t look thrilled with the audience but Agent Collins looked way too gleeful with the turn of events.

“No Soldier?” she pouted leaning back into her chair.  “Oh well, he’s not part of the initiative but it would’ve been nice to see his face.”  Tony gagged when she gave him an once-over.  “Like the hair color.”

“Tell us what you know,” Coulson ground out giving the woman a deadly glare.

Agent Collins sighed.  “Fine,” she huffed out.  “I made arrangements and accepted money for Captain Rogers’ capture.”  She was causal about it and it made Tony feel dirty.  She propped her feet up on the table.  “It wasn’t hard,” she continued.  “Do you know how much our enemies are willing to pay to have a super soldier at their disposal?  Thousands of dollars.  Do you know how much bored billionaires are willing to pay to have a toy for their perverse pleasure?”  Her grin was manic.  “Millions.”

“You did this for money?” Clint spat out completely forgetting Coulson’s threat.

“Duh!” Agent Collins rolled her eyes.  “Did you actually think that I was some poor victim that was sexually assaulted by some family member and in my misguided warped mind I decided to exact revenge?”  She burst out laughing.  “Oh my god, you actually do!”

May raised an eyebrow.  “It’s not?”

“Please,” she giggled.  “My parents are middle-class nobodies.  No criminal record.  Hell, they made sure that they went to church every Sunday.  I was never assaulted in my childhood or adulthood and I don’t have some repressed memory of abuse.  I did it for the money, simple as that.”

“Then why?”

Agent Collins leaned forward.  “Because who doesn’t want to fuck the American dream?” she whispered quietly. 

Dread pooled in Tony’s stomach as he stared at the unbalanced woman.  Something wasn’t right and he couldn’t figure out what that could be.  “Normally when I do this; I would have the buyer, the money, and the target all ready.  This one was different, I had the false mission and the target,” she pouted again, “but no buyer.  Until I discover the auction through some lines that I’m responsible in monitoring.  The auctioneer didn’t know who I was but he loved the idea of putting _Captain America_ on the auction block.  He offered three times more money than any terrorist group and that included HYDRA plus he promised video evidence of Captain Rogers’ ‘training’.”  She clapped her cuffed hands together.  “Boy, did he delivered!  Best masturbation materials to date!”

The scream was primal and no one could stop Natasha lunging over the table and tackling Agent Collins.  Her hands clasped around the other woman’s neck and began to squeeze.  Tony was on top of Natasha, pulling her off as she yelled obscenities in Russian.  She tried getting out his grasp by kicking and squirming but instead her elbow recoiled back and punched him in the face.  It stung but Tony knew he shouldn’t let go.

“Get her out!”  May screamed.

“Thor!” Tony shouted.  “I need a hand!”

The demi-god grabbed Natasha’s legs and helped him carry her out of the interrogation room.  Clint held the door open, face stricken and pale.  Tony barely noticed Maria Hill standing nearby, her face twisted in a sour look with two young agents standing next to her.  The man looked ashen while the woman looked very pissed off.  Coulson was down the hall yelling into a phone.  Something was up but Tony knew that he had to get Natasha in control.

Clint pushed a door open.  “In here,” he directed and flinched at Tony’s face.  “I’ll find an ice pack for the eye.”  He patted Thor’s shoulder.  “Make sure no one comes in until Stark says so.”

The door slam shut and Tony let go of Natasha.  She whirled around, eyes flashing with anger and hatred.  She moved forward but Tony blocked her way.  She let out a huff and moved again and Tony blocked her attempt again.  The dance continued a few more times before she let out a scream and started to attack Tony.

Natasha trained him, so he knew how to block jabs and dodged kicks.  He also knew that if Natasha really wanted to get out, she would’ve crippled him.  He took the beating, allowing the anger pour out of the assassin before crumpling into his arms and burst into sobs.

Tony wrapped his arms around her, gently resting his hand on the back of her head.  “Natasha.”

“It’s not fair!” she sobbed.  “What did Steve ever do to deserve this kind of punishment?  All he wanted to do was to help people!”  Tony hugged her tighter, letting her mourn for a dear friend without any judgement.  He lost track of the time but the sobs soon became quiet sniffles.

There was a discreet knock before Clint open the door.  “Is everything okay?”

Tony glanced down at Natasha and the red head gave a firm nod.  “Something you need, Barton?”

“Phil needs to talk to us,” he shifted uncomfortably.  “It’s not good.”

Natasha moved away from Tony and gave a nod to the archer, who pushed the door open to let Coulson, Thor, and the two younger agents enter.  Clint tossed the ice pack to Tony which he immediately placed against his eye before closing and locking the door. 

Coulson ran a hand through his hair.  “I think everyone should sit down.”  He snorted when no one did.  “As of this moment the investigation regarding to Captain Rogers’ detainment is closed.  I’ve received orders that there will be no charges against Agent Collins and there was no attack on Captain Rogers.  It was fabricated by his mind due to a hallucinogen drug that was released by HYDRA.”

Tony blinked.  “The fuck!” he roared, throwing the ice pack across the room.

The woman standing next to Coulson threw a black plastic disc on the conference table.  It blinked red three times before turning blue.  “Unofficially, the investigation is still continuing but with road blocks,” Coulson finished.  He pointed at the device.  “That is blocking all transmissions in this room, so you’re welcome to speak freely.” 

Thor slammed his fist on the conference table breaking the veneer.  “You have failed Son of Coul!”

“I’m doing my best!” Coulson snapped back as all decorum was fading away.

“You’re did more than that,” Clint reassured.  “You found the bitch that sold Steve out.  We weren’t expecting this.  Phil, you weren’t expecting this.”

“I should have been expecting this!” Coulson screamed.  “My damn job is to be ten steps ahead of everyone,” he pointed at the door, “and that little cunt has been ahead the whole time!  You heard her!  How many agents disappeared under her?  How many are suffering or dead because of her?  We have fucking evidence and we can’t do a god-damn thing because she has immunity!” 

Natasha arched an eyebrow.  “Who gave her immunity?”

Coulson sighed.  “The WSC.”

“We have a confession!  We have proof!”  Tony growled.  “What if we can find more evidence of agents disappearing under her watch?  Can we press charges then?”

Coulson shook his head.  “Complete immunity,” he repeated.  “Even if we found evidence of her blackmailing….huh.”  He glanced at the woman next to him.  “Skye, did Deputy Director Hill let you keep all the evidence from Agent Collins’ computer?”

“According to Hill, we found nothing,” the woman named Skye answered with a smirk.  “And that big box of physical evidence from Dr. Banner is forever lost in Fitz’s lab.”

“It would take months to find that box,” the man with a heavy brogue deadpanned.

Clint blinked.  “Fitz, your lab is freaking immaculate.”

“What’s going on, Phil?”  There was a look in Coulson’s eyes.

“Stark, what would you do if you found out that someone in your company is doing something highly illegal but they had some uncomfortable information about Pepper or Happy?”

The question didn’t need an answer.  “The council is not protecting her; they are protecting one of their own!”  Phil nodded.

“Shit!” Clint ran his hands through his hair.  “She got them by their balls!”

“I can do so much with the limited resources that I have right now,” Skye said waving her tablet in the air.  “Officially the WSC thinks that Coulson was sent on a mission in Dubai but if they catch any wind of this investigation, we lose everything and that bitch walks away.”

“Unless everyone moves into the tower,” Tony continued understanding the plan that was forming.  “With help from JARVIS, you can access to any mainframe around the world and find out who the council is protecting.”

Coulson shook his head.  “The council would know right away if I’m not in Dubai,” he glanced at the younger woman.  “You stay at the tower and work with JARVIS.  You can still contact me through SI’s connections.  We need to know who the council is protecting and convince them that they are safe, so we can make the arrest.”

“I’ll go,” Clint offered.  “Fury can create a story that my skills-set where needed.”

“Too dangerous,” Natasha answered, eyes filled with sadness.  “The council would figure it out in a matter of seconds.”

“She’s right,” Coulson added looking devastated.  “The council would believe that Skye went AWOL than you assisting me with a mission.”

Tony saw the pain on Clint’s face and he wanted to yell.  Agent Collins was destroying more people without even trying.  He never struck a woman his enter life but the urge to hunt that monster down and beat her was surprising strong.  The door unlocked and he shouldn’t be shock but he was when he saw three guns pointing at the intruder.  May looked unimpressed with her hands up but the woman hiding behind her was terrified.

“We have one hour before our ‘mission’ to Dubai,” May announced calmly.  “If everyone could put their guns down, Simmons found something that she would like to show.”

Coulson was the first to pocket his gun with Natasha and Clint following right behind him.  Simmons side-step around May and gave an uneasy smile.  “It’s not something I would like to show but it’s something I think you should know.”

“What is it, Simmons?” Coulson asked, his voice hoarse from the prior yelling.

Simmons closed her eyes.  “I found the videos of Captain Rogers’ torture.”

Tony felt he was back in the penthouse.  “Have those been leaked out?” he asked hating how his voice cracked.

“No, thank god,” Simmons answered quickly.  “Fitz and Skye were able to remove the virus.  The videos can be viewed without any threat.”

“Why would we want to see such violence?” Thor commented crossing his arms.

“It would help us understand Steve,” Natasha answered quietly.  “So we can help him recover.  Help him heal.”

The silence in the conference room was unsettling and Tony knew everyone was weighing the pros and cons on watching the video because he was doing the same thing.  He could understand the logic of finding out what happen and use that knowledge to help Steve but emotionally he couldn’t understand because it felt like he was attacking Steve.  He glanced at Natasha and she gave a nod, then Clint nodded, and finally Thor.

Taking a deep breath he looked at Simmons, “roll it.”

Simmons didn’t react, she grabbed Skye’s tablet and began typing.  Out of the corner of his eye, he saw May locking the door and going to parade rest.

The large television screen flickered to life with an image of a blindfolded naked Steve kneeling on a cot with his back towards the door.  His arms and legs were bounded and he was wearing the harness that had that _thing_ that Tony refused to research on.  He was shaking, either from the serum fighting the infection or the cold. 

The whimpering that was heard made breathing difficult, as if the conference room lost all the air.

Onscreen, the door opened and two men entered; one was the auctioneer and the other was a Caucasian, probably Mediterranean descent, pushing a large device that Tony did not want to acknowledge.  Their clothes were heavy and black but not the military tactical gear that government agencies prefer to wear. 

“Our auctioneer forgot some information,” May said without any preamble.  “I’m going to make sure he remembers everything.”  The door clicked open and she disappeared without anyone saying a word otherwise. 

Back on the screen, the auctioneer had no problem watching Steve squirm as the second man started to fiddle with the device.  “Captain,” he addressed sounding utterly bored but he rubbing his hands with anticipated glee.  “How are you feeling today?” His grin had the same perverse smile from the auction. 

Even blindfolded, Steve snarled and struggled against the bounds.  The movement caused the leash to tug at his cock.  The whined that was heard was inhuman.  “Peachy,” he rasped out, his voice was hoarse and breathless.

Someone burst out laughing and Tony was horrified that it was him.  Shame burned hotly on his cheeks.  “I’m sorry,” he whispered as tears filled his eyes.  “I really don’t find this funny.”

Clint gently rested his hand on his shoulder.  “Only Steve would find a way to sass back with his hands tied behind his back and be completely naked,” his jest was weak but welcomed. 

Natasha snorted as Thor chuckled before everyone turned their attention back to the video.  They weren’t missing much, just banter from the auctioneer and Steve replying back in his usual dry wit as if it was a common occurrence.  The confrontation was rather boring considering the situation.  Tony did notice that during the whole interchange, the auctioneer never touched or approached Steve who was already tense, waiting for something to happen. 

“I wonder who we have today.  What so-called _Avenger_ is ready for their punishment?”  The auctioneer asked keeping up with the bored act even though it was obvious that he was loving every minute of it.  He pulled out a small black recorder from his pants.  “Gentlemen,” he announced loudly, “please proceed.”  He pressed a button.

Steve’s scream was filled with panic and began to fight wildly in his bounds.

A new scream was heard, a familiar one.  Natasha jerked at the noise and Simmons covered her mouth with her hands.  Tony felt his knees buckling and Clint managed to catch him before he collapse to the floor.  He knew that recording; he could feel the dirty water going down his throat and drowning him. 

It was the day when he agreed to build Jericho. 

But Steve didn’t know that.  His captors created a reality that the torture was actually happening.  He struggled in his bounds as the screams continued.  At one point, Tony didn’t know who was screaming; Steve or the recording.  It was painful to watch and Tony felt helpless, he wanted to feel rage or hatred but helplessness was the only feeling.  He could feel the walls closing in on him, could feel the dampness of the cave.  The recording was approaching to the part where he agreed but the recording stopped.

The auctioneer grinned evilly.  “So Captain,” he spat, fiddling with the recorder.  “Pick your poison.”

It was Steve’s sobbing that turned the helplessness into a burning rage for Tony.  “Mercy!” Steve gasped out.  “I’ll do anything, just give my friends mercy!”  Almost the exact same words that were spoken at the penthouse.

Tony realized that he would have no issues in becoming the Merchant of Death again.

“Excellent choice,” the auctioneer replied snapping his fingers.

The second man, completely forgotten, aligned the device to Steve’s backside.

“Oh my god,” Fitz muttered.  His face was grey and looked like he was going to vomit.

The auctioneer kneeled down to place the recorder on the floor, “Gentlemen,” his voice was low and dark, “you may continue.”  Steve screamed out his disapproval.  The recorder played another event during Tony’s captivity and Steve was yelling, swearing, and damning everyone in the room.  His voice was cut short when the device was buzzed to life and violently jack-hammering him.

The screen exploded.

Someone was breathing hard and it took Tony a full minute to realize that it wasn’t him.  He stared at the destroyed screen slowly understanding that someone had put a bullet in it.  He quickly did the trajectory and turned to the person that fired the gun.

Coulson was breathing hard and his eyes showed murder.  “ _Find him_ ,” he hissed at Natasha and Clint.  “Do everything in your power and then some to find that second son of the bitch!  I want to know everything about him.  Where he lives.  How he eats.  How he takes his coffee.  If he shakes to the left after he takes a piss, I want to know.  Find him.  Do not engage.  _I want him to think that he is safe._ ” 

Clint visibly gulped.  “Phil,” he started.

“Do it!” Coulson screamed.  He handed his gun to Skye and stormed out of the room leaving everyone stunned and speechless.

The tablet beeped making Simmons jump as she tried swiping the screen.  It took a few tries but she managed to open it with shaky fingers.  Her eyes scanned at the contents before widening in dismay.  “The WSC has filed a report that the auctioneer committed suicide by hanging himself under SHIELD custody,” she said slowly.  “There would be no investigation on the matter.”

Tony could only hear the blood pounding in his ears when Simmons showed the photo of the auctioneer sitting in the chair with a bullet between his eyes.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not familiar with Norse Mythology and couldn't find the perfect reference so I made one up.
> 
> Thank you for the comments!

Bruce was quickly on his feet when Tony stormed into the communal floor.  He stomped past the scientist without saying a word and headed straight to the wet bar.  There was noise, someone was probably speaking, but he just tuned them out as he grabbed the first decanter that was within his reach.  It was made out of a heavy crystal, beautifully etched, probably filled with the most expensive bourbon he could buy and it sailed elegantly through the air.  The stopper fell out during mid-flight and the bourbon created this perfect amber arch before the decanter shattered on the floor.  Thor grabbed his wrist before he could reach the second decanter.

“Let go of me,” Tony snarled, trying to tug his hand out of Thor’s grasp.

“You should not resort to destruction of property,” Thor replied sagely.

“Oh go fuck yourself!” he snapped.  “You’ve been acting like a complete asshole for the past week and now you want to act high and mighty?!”

Bruce looked alarmed.  “What happened?”

“Conspiracy,” Natasha sneered. 

“Conspiracy?”

Tony managed to get his hand free.  “Not a conspiracy,” he growled.  “It’s a cluster-fuck.  A huge cluster-fuck that the council wants to sweep under the rug.”

Bruce looked at Clint and Skye.  “I need an explanation in the smallest words possible and who are you?”

“Hi….yeah….I’m Skye….one of Coulson’s?”  She ended with a squeak.

“Coulson’s team found the person that sold Steve out,” Clint explained.

Bruce’s eyes went wide.  “JARVIS, can you inform Bucky that he should keep Steve away from the communal floor until further notice.”

“Sergeant Barnes has been informed,” JARVIS answered smoothly.  “Sir, I’ve already contacted the contractors and suppliers for the training floor.  Captain Rogers have already damaged half the equipment and it would be a matter of time before the other half will be destroyed.”

Tony glared at Bruce.  “Explain.”

“While everyone was gone, Steve actually spoke to the therapist and then proceeded to have a panic attack after three words.  We managed to calm him down without the use of tranquilizers but he had a lot of energy that needed to be expelled.  Bucky took him to the training floor, they’ve been there since then.”  He rubbed the back of his head clearly uncomfortable on what he had to say next.  “Steve has an eating disorder,” he said flatly.  “I had suspicions but the therapist confirmed it and she says it sometimes goes with the territory.”

It was a punch in the gut and Tony sat down, bypassing the bar stools onto the floor.  He pressed his back against the bar wall and closed his eyes.  “How did we missed that?”

“Because we were not looking for it,” Bruce replied.  “We were focused on the physical issues that we didn’t consider the possibility of an eating disorder.  I saw some indicators but I thought was over-reacting.”

 “Why didn’t you tell us?” Clint sounded distant to Tony’s ears.

“I didn’t want to create mass hysteria if I was wrong,” he answered apologetically.  “Look, I’m doing my best and I’m out of my league!”

“No one’s blaming you, Bruce,” Natasha’s voice was soft and uncharacteristically weak.

“Tell me about him,” there was venom in Bruce’s voice.

Tony opened his eyes.  “Her.”

He didn’t like the look on his friend’s face.  “ _Her?_ ”

“She calls herself the Handler,” he explained.  “She fully admitted in planning Steve’s capture and rape.”

Bruce sat down, looking rather pale.  “She admitted?  Why would….I mean….how….was she a victim?”

“No,” Clint bit out.  “Not a victim.  Did it because she wanted the money.  She also mentioned that there were more before Steve.”

“I don’t understand,” Bruce clenched and unclenched his hands.  “Why did you say it was a conspiracy?  A cluster-fuck?”

Skye cleared her throat.  “The Handler has full immunity from the WSC,” she said slowly.  Tony could tell she was scared but he was amazed how well she stood up to the situation.  “They ordered Coulson to stop the investigation and destroy all the evidence.  On record, Captain Rogers was exposed to a hallucinogen drug which made him believe that he was kidnapped and torture.  As we speak, Coulson went to Dubai with the team and I went AWOL.  Unofficially, Coulson is heading the investigation without the WSC’s knowledge. ”

Bruce blinked.  “What?!”

“Agent Collins has blackmailed the council,” Natasha said in a steely tone.  “She has something on them and we need to know what it is.  Skye will be sorting through the information that came from Agent Collins’ computer, maybe she’ll find something that would help Steve.”

“This is a cluster-fuck,” Bruce muttered.  “Don’t we have the auctioneer?  Can’t he tell us anything?”

Tony glanced at Thor, Clint, Natasha, and Skye.  “He’s dead,” he answered slowly.  “According to the council, he hung himself.  Agent May found him with a bullet between his eyes.  We believe that Agent Collins got to him.”

“Fuck!”

“There’s a second assailant,” Clint added.  “He was there during Steve’s rape.  We watched one of the videos and,” he visibly swallowed, “I think he’s involved with human trafficking of some sort.  The way he moved, he’s done something like this before.”

Tony shivered at the last sentence.  If that type of assault was used on someone that wasn’t a super soldier; that person would either be dead or find a way to kill themselves.  Bruce looked equally horrified.  “Can Coulson find him?”

“Coulson gave me and Clint the green-light to find him,” Natasha answered.  “Our mission is to locate but do not engage.  Skye will be leading the operation.”

Skye looked completely surprised by the announcement.  “I am?”

“You’re AWOL,” Clint replied.  “The council doesn’t care about you but they might keep an eye on us.  We’re not raising any red flags, everything has to go through you.”

“Oh yay!” her response was heavy with sarcasm.

Bruce rubbed the bridge of his nose.  “An honest to god conspiracy.”

“What’s a conspiracy?” Bucky asked walking out of the elevator.  “And who the hell is that?”

“Um….Skye….Coulson’s….do you know that Fitz would hump your arm to next Tuesday?”

Bucky arched an eyebrow.  “Conspiracy?” he repeated sounding impatient.

“The WSC is involved so things became more…. difficult,” Bruce answered hotly.  “We know who the person is but officially there’s nothing we can do about it.”

Bucky closed his metal hand.  “Unofficially?”

“We’re getting her,” Tony answered.

“Her?”

“I’ll explain later,” Bruce replied.  “Where’s Steve?”

“Steve finally exhausted himself.  JARVIS is monitoring him but he’s not going to sleep for an hour.  I don’t know what’s more important, making him eat or making him sleep.”

“I can’t keep giving him tranquilizers,” Bruce argued, resting his head on the back of the couch.  “We can’t let him develop an addiction.”

“Then what can we do!” Bucky yelled.  He quickly reeled back and let out a sad sigh.  “I’m sorry, it’s just I’ve always protected Steve and this is literally the first time I can’t.”

Tony smacked his head on the bar paneling.  “Skye, you can camp-out in my workshop.”  The woman didn’t need to be told twice as she hurried to the waiting elevator.  He waited for the doors to close before he sputtered, “We need help.”

“The therapist is doing all she can, Tony,” Bruce defended.

His fingers went to the little brass wingnut resting high on his chest.  The day after Steve came home, he found his mother’s dainty gold chain and slipped the wingnut on.  He hasn’t taken the necklace off since.  “ _WE_ need help.”

“Tony’s right,” Clint said quietly.  “We’re at our breaking point and it’s been a week!”

“Maybe we can talk to each other?” Natasha suggested.

Tony knew she wasn’t thrilled about talking to a SHIELD therapist, let alone a stranger.  “Sorry Champ,” he replied.  “We need to talk to someone that won’t fuel our dependency issues.”

Bruce sighed.  “Can’t believe you’re becoming the voice of reason,” he muttered with a half-smile.  “I’ll talk to Steve’s therapist, maybe she can recommend some people.”  He glanced at everyone in the room.  “Unless you want someone outside of SHIELD.”

Clint shook his head.  “Keep them in SHIELD,” he answered.  “Too dangerous to use an outsider.”

“Plus we have to find someone that does house calls and willingly sign a NDA,” Tony pointed out.  “SHIELD will work.”  Everyone else muttered their agreement.

A heavy silence fell in the room and no one moved from their spots.  Tony continued to fiddle with the wingnut as he tried to think.  Even though she’s analyst, Agent Collins was a very dangerous person.  He couldn’t help but wonder how many agents disappeared under her, was the number a lot or just a handful?  He couldn’t understand why the council would protect her, did she threaten to sell a family member?  Or where they doing something highly illegal that it was just easier to let her do her operations?

Tony sighed as he pieced through his thoughts.  What could be more illegal than human trafficking or putting a bounty on an agent’s head?  Drugs were out of the question and so was weapons.  Maybe the council were contracting deaths of government and military heads.  Could it be stealing and selling children, especially from areas that where notoriously poor and corrupted?  A no-named child could be gone forever and no one would miss them. 

He wanted to vomit.

He thought about the contacts he made when he was selling weapons.  He knew a guy in Wakanda, member of the royal army that should be able to get any weapon without any questions asked.  Hell, he knew a few mercenaries that would be happy to do anything with the right price tag.

Of course, Tony knew he couldn’t go down that path; that was the same path that Obadiah Stane took.  He wouldn’t be able to look at himself in a mirror.  He wouldn’t be an Avenger, a position that he cherished, because he went for revenge not avenge.  More importantly, it wouldn’t help Steve.  The super soldier would be disgusted if he found out that Tony took a dark path because no matter how much pain Steve was in, he would never break his convictions.

“My friends.”

Tony looked up and stared at a defeated looking Thor.  “I want to apologize for my ungrateful behavior,” his voice was quiet and unfitting from a man that was larger than life.

“We’re all angry, big guy,” Bucky responded taking his seat next to Bruce.  Natasha slowly slinked into his lap letting his arms wrap around her.  “No need to say sorry.”

Thor looked distressed.  “But I’ve reacted poorly, similar to a previous experience.”

Clint shifted behind the couch near Bruce.  “Loki.”  The demi-god nodded.

“There was a maiden that caught my brother’s eye and vice versa,” Thor started looking much older than he should.  “Her family was well regarded to the throne and a marriage match would be beneficial to both parties.  She was a younger daughter but she had this ability to keep my brother on his toes and he adored that.”  He twisted the leather strap on Mjölnir between his fingers.  “Her older sister was vastly jealous and she arranged for some bandits to take her away.  She wanted her sister to be frighten and told the bandits to taunt my brother in any ways possible.  It started out with cloth from her robes, than her hair, and soon….”

Natasha looked rather green.  “What happened to her?”

“She was disemboweled by the bandits,” Thor answered gravelly moving away from the bar and taking a few short paces to the coffee table.  “Not wanting to be jailed for the crime, the sister threw herself off the cliff.  Her father lost favored to the court and to Odin.  Loki, with the help of me, Lady Sif, and the Warriors Three, hunted the bandits down.  We lusted for blood and revenge.”

Tony smacked the back of his head on the bar.  “Take it you found them.”

Thor nodded and looked down at Mjölnir.  “After seeing that viper, I came to the realization that I’m not worthy of welding the mighty Mjölnir.”

Bruce quickly tried to get off the couch.  “Thor….”

“Only Mjölnir would decide when I’m worthy….”

Everyone moved at once trying to stop Thor from doing something drastic.  Tony felt his body moving slowly, like it was moving through molasses and judging by the look on everyone’s faces, they were feeling the same thing.  His eyes widen in horror as the demi-god gently placed the hammer of the glass table top and the sky lit up with a dramatic display of lightning when Thor released the handle.

“….until then I’m only mortal.”


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologize for the lateness, this chapter was a little tough to write. Thank you for the comments and kudos!
> 
> Note: HYDRA never had Bucky but he was briefly the Winter Soldier.
> 
> Google Translate Russian: James. Let go of the finger. No. Do it. Natasha.

It was strangely satisfying to slide a tiny gear into place with a steady hand. 

Tony sagged in relief as he gently leaned away so he wouldn’t jostle the delicate clockwork.  He beamed at the work in front of him.  In the past he never enjoyed working on outdated technology but this little project became more fun than he was willingly to admit.

“JARVIS?” he asked, eyes inspecting each little gear in the frame. “How historically accurate is this?”

“Before or after, sir?” JARVIS retorted dryly.  “The design was accurate according to Captain Roger’s recollection but after your _improvements_ the design is now historically inaccurate.”  There was a pause.  “On the positive side it doesn’t fly.”

The smile became bigger.  “The next one is going to fly.  I’m modelling that one after that robot from _Metropolis_.”

“I feel that I need to remind you that the film was favored by the Nazi Party.”

He flinched.  “Superman?  He was around, right?”

“Debuted in 1938, sir.”

Tony nodded, picked up a screwdriver, and went back to work.  A month has pass since Steve’s recuse.  Skye had declared one of the server rooms in the tower as her small personal country and has been working practically non-stop combing through the information from Agent Collins’s computer.  Clint and Natasha disappeared a couple of times but returned battered and bruised but no word on the second assailant.  Coulson has been sending encrypted updates but even his leads were coming up short.

Everyone scheduled appointments from a list of recommended SHIELD therapists and the results were noticeable.  Bruce was becoming confident and was more willing to speak his mind.  Natasha was more attentive and focused; which Tony hasn’t seen that in her since she introduced herself as Natalie Rushman.  Instead of waiting, Clint finally called Phil and it was a long awaited conversation that ended with the archer smiling happily.  Since it was his choice, Thor had no problems being mortal.  His sessions were long and the topic was probably about Loki but the demi-god appeared more peaceful, less agitated.  Bucky pretty much dissected every action in his life with his therapist but the results showed a man that was more at peace within himself.

Tony even had to admit that he was having success.  Each meeting was emotionally draining but he felt lighter at the end.  He started to create again, not out of necessity or by force, just for the simple pleasure.  The last time he felt truly happy about a project was when he created JARVIS and that made his stomach twist in discomfort. 

“Sir,” apprehension was noticeable in his AI’s voice.  “Captain Rogers is currently in the elevator.”  It sounded like he was wringing his hands if he had them.  “Do you remember how you reacted when you walked on your private beach after Afghanistan?”

Tony hissed as he slammed the screwdriver on the work surface with enough force to shake the loose gears.  “Fucking stubborn asshat!  Why didn’t you stop him?”

The response was huffy, “Captain Rogers ignored my concerns and stopping the elevator would not be advisable since his heart elevation was starting to rise.”

“Get this place warmed up by ten degrees!” he ordered when he realized that the workshop could trigger some memories.  He cringed when Dummy began moving towards the elevator with him.  “Buddy, I know you want to greet Steve but I don’t think that’s a good idea.  Let him be comfortable first.”  The dejected bot chirped sadly before rolling to the charging station and powering down.  “Give him some time.  He’ll give you hugs again.” 

He fidgeted as the doors slowly open.  Steve was standing inside, back pressed against the wall paneling with his right hand gripping the railing.  His face was pale, his posture was tensed, and he was breathing hard.

“Shit Steve,” he whispered ignoring the way the railing bent under Steve’s grasp.  “What were you thinking?”

“I need to do this,” Steve gulped taking a small step forward but his hand didn’t let go of the railing.  “I need to prove….”

“You don’t need to prove shit!” 

Fear bloomed in those blue eyes forcing Tony to take a deep breath.  “I’m sorry, that was uncalled for.  Would you like to see what I’m working on?”  He walked away without giving a second glance, it was a becoming a habit for the super soldier to make sure he was the last person to leave a room. 

“Where’s Dummy?” Steve’s question was filled with caution.  Tony could only assume that the man was searching for said bot.

“At the charging station,” he answered waving towards where Dummy was sitting silently.  “Would you like to say hi?”  He looked over his shoulder when there was no response.  He silently prayed that the captors never showed that awful machine to Steve before he was assaulted.  He hasn’t seen any more videos but Skye hasn’t been giving updates about the investigation probably for good reasons. 

Steve stared at the bot with fear and sadness.  “I don’t think,” he licked his lips, “I don’t think that would be a good idea right now.”  There was a hopeful look on his face which was a positive sign.  “Maybe one day?”

“Of course.” Tony didn’t care that he was smiling like an idiot.  “I think you will like this.”

He watched Steve peer down at the workbench, letting him inspect the object on the table.  With a childlike gasp, “is that a drummer boy?” he breathed out. 

“Went completely steampunk,” Tony replied trying very hard not to preen.  “I found the patent application and after some adjustments, this little guy is going to be better than Tommy Lee!”

“He looks exactly like the little drummer boy I had when I was a child.”

“It is,” he admitted feeling the rush of heat on his cheeks.  “I remembered you telling me about that.” 

“Oh Tony,” Steve’s voice was filled with affection.  “It’s amazing!”

Tony reached out to touch his hand but thought better of it so he picked up the screwdriver instead.  “It’s yours,” he fumbled over the words.  “I want you to have it.”

There was a tiny hint of smile before Steve returned to inspecting the toy.  “I hate to ask, but does it fly?”

“Nope,” he answered popping the ‘P’.  “But the next one will.  Powered by gears and steam.  I’m thinking Superman.”

Steve hummed.  “The Shadow is my favorite.”  He gave Tony a side-long glance.  “And yes, I watched the movie and liked it.”

“Not judging, I still watch _My Science Project._ ”

A long finger gently traced the curve of the frame.  “I know that everyone knows.”

He blinked.  “What?”

The smile was gone, the happiness disappeared, and his body was stiff.  “I know that everyone knows that I’m having trouble eating.”

“Steve….”

“And it frustrates me because during my captivity, they never starved me.”  Steve took a step back from the workbench.  His fists were clenched tight and he was breathing deeply.  “They came in, gave me a bowl, and removed the blindfold.  An hour later, give or take, the blindfold returns and the bowl is gone.  I never saw them and they never talked to me.  The door unlocking was the only time I knew that someone was coming.”

Steve tugged his hair with shaky hands.  “And you would think I would enjoy the company, people sitting with me, talking to me, and being my friends,” the laugh was harsh and distorted.  “It’s worse!  I can feel the eyes staring at me!  I have a plate and I don’t know what to do with it!  I want them to know but I can’t tell them!  My stomach churns and food doesn’t taste good anymore.”  He angrily wiped his eyes.  “I haven’t been this hungry since 1932.  I’m the loneliest I ever felt in my lifetime.”  He lowered his head in shame.  “And I want a bowl.”

Ignoring every red flag, Tony took a step forward stopping a few inches in front of Steve.  His hands were in his pockets because he knew they would be wrapped around the super soldier.  “If you want, I’ll be happy to share a bowl with you.”

He was expecting anger but instead there was relief.  “Can it be just you?” Steve whispered.

“Of course and we can eat on your floor.”  He smiled when Steve nodded vigorously.  “What would you like?”

Steve bit his lower lip.  “Totonno’s?”

The old pizza parlor at Coney Island was always Steve’s go-to comfort food.  He glanced at his watch and frowned.  “It’s closed, sorry buddy.  What about Lombardi’s?”

Tony didn’t like the look of disappointment of his friend’s face and before he made another suggestion, Steve gave a little shrug, “there’s another place I like and they deliver.  Would that be okay?”

“More than fine with that,” he answered feeling grateful that Steve made a suggestion.  “Order whatever you want.  Don’t worry about the leftovers, you know the team would eat anything.”  He pointed at the elevator.  “I’ll leave right now to wash up and get the order from the security guys.  JARVIS will let you know when I’m heading to your floor.”

The way Steve lit up made Tony feel like he was basking in the sun.  He wasn’t sure if he should be enabling these new fears but he wanted Steve’s trust.  He wanted to show Steve that he was safe.  Before saying something completely stupid, Tony headed straight to the penthouse.

“JARVIS?” he ordered as he stripped out of his shirt in the bedroom.  “Status on Steve?”

“Everything is within normal parameters.  Twenty minutes before the food would be delivered.”  The AI paused.  “Captain Rogers seems to be in good spirits.  It is refreshing to see.”

“It is,” Tony agreed, turning on the shower.  “Connect me with Bruce, I want to give him a status update.”

_“Please tell me you’re ending your shower not starting it,”_ Bruce’s voice echoed in the bathroom.

“Starting sugarbutt but I only have a few minutes but I thought I should give you an update.”

It took longer than a few minutes but Tony relayed the entire conservation to Bruce as he took his shower and got dressed.  He heard the low growl from the other guy when he told Bruce about Steve’s treatment and his desire to eat out of a bowl.  He finished his assessment when he entered the elevator to retrieve the pizza order.

_“Let me know how dinner went afterwards,”_ Bruce said, his voice still husky from the other guy.  _“I like the idea of Steve eating his favorites.  I can talk to Bucky and JARVIS about it.”_

“Sounds good, I’ll talk to you later.”  Tony walked out the elevator and greeted the delivery guy with a charming smile, a funny one-liner, and a big tip.  He gave a nod to the security guards and returned to the elevator.  The slow ride to Steve’s floor meant that JARVIS was giving Steve some time to relax.

The doors opened again and Steve was standing behind the couch attempting to look relaxed but there was a death grip on the cushion.  Tony slowly stepped out and notice that the shield placed at the end of the couch, just close enough for Steve to grab if he felt threaten. 

Tamping down the unnecessary feeling of hurt, he gave a bright smile.  “Pizza is here.”

Steve started to move around the couch but froze.  His eyes widen as he began to tremble.  “I….I….” he tumbled over the words.

“Sit down,” he offered placing the boxes and containers on the coffee table.  “I’ll get the rest of the items.”

Dinner was a quiet affair.  The pizza was a modern gourmet monstrosity that Tony didn’t knew that Steve liked let alone be a regular at the pizzeria.  It wasn’t bad in his opinion but he was more of a purist when it came to pizza; dough, sauce, mozzarella, and if he wanted to go crazy; bacon.  Steve was curled up on the couch nibbling on his slice.  Tony subtly nudged the full bag of garlic knots towards Steve.  He silently sighed with relief when the super soldier grabbed a knot.

“Bucky said that you always liked the weird shit,” Tony commented while poking at the grilled asparagus and sun-dried tomato slice, it didn’t taste horrible; it was just odd.  “He mentioned something about a pineapple upside down cake in 1925?”

“1927,” Steve replied quietly.  “It was featured in the Aunt Sammy’s Recipes radio show and the corner store near our tenement was selling canned pineapples.  Anyways my elderly neighbor made one and I took a bite.”  There was a hint of a smile.  “I had hives for a week.  I haven’t touched pineapple since.”

Tony barked out a laugh.  “Let me tell you a story when Pepper introduced me to escargot.”  And broke out a lengthy story about Pepper’s very first business trip to Paris and her persistence in making him eat escargot which ended up being a long night of him vomiting non-stop.

He was rinsing the bowls when Bucky entered the kitchen.  “Barnes,” he greeted and then noticed the hunted look.  “Are you okay?”

“I can’t help thinking about my time with the Russians,” he murmured leaning against the counter. 

Tony raised an eyebrow, it was a topic that was rarely mentioned.  A splinter group of former KGB officers found Bucky in the Alps and with the help of a rogue science group, they managed to thaw out and brainwashed the sergeant.  The Winter Soldier wreaked havoc across Eastern Europe until Coulson, Clint, and Natasha stopped him in Budapest.  Details of that mission are still a little murky and heavily redacted but Tony knew it happened right after the whole Justin Hammer and the palladium poisoning fiasco.

“When was the last time you rested, Buck?”

“I don’t need rest,” Bucky huffed out.  “I need to take care of Steve.”

Tony put the bowls away and glared at the man.  “And resting will help him.  I’ll watch him.”

Bucky narrowed his eyes.  “I’m family.”

“So am I,” he snapped back.  “So is Bruce, Thor, Nat, and Clint.”  He waved his arms around.  “Shit, even _JARVIS_ can watch over him.  You.  Need.  To.  Rest.”  He poked Bucky’s chest to emphasize each word.

It was a dangerous move and Tony knew he crossed the line when Bucky quickly took his finger, thankfully with his good hand.  He bit his lower lip when Bucky squeezed.  “You don’t tell me what to do!”  Bucky’s voice was low and menacing.

“Джеймс.”  Natasha’s voice was soft but it echoed in the kitchen.  “Отпустите палец.” 

Bucky snarled.  “Нет.”

Natasha moved quickly and her arm was around his neck in a choke hold.  “Сделай это.”

The grip around his finger was borderline crushing and Tony was actually afraid that he was going to die.  Bucky’s eyes were wild and his nostrils flared but eventually he let go of the finger.  Tony scrambled away as quickly as he could.  “Наташа,” Bucky whispered, his metal hand reaching out for her.  Natasha released the hold as she slowly slid down his body.  She took his hand and gently pulled him against her chest.  It was amazing to see the taller man fold himself around the petite deadly assassin. 

“I’ll keep an eye out for our boys tonight,” Natasha commented quietly, her hand playing with the impressive man bun at the nape of Bucky’s neck.

Tony nodded.  “Alert us if you need assistance.”  She gave a nod and began speaking in Russian.  Whatever her words were, they soothed the man in her arms.

Steve was standing at the end of the couch holding the shield when he stepped into the living room.  Tony internally winced when he realized that Steve saw the altercation between him and Bucky.

“Are you okay?” he asked, voice filled with unnatural panic.  “I saw what happened.  Was that my fault?”

“No,” Tony answered quickly before taking a seat on the couch.  “Bucky’s upset,” he sighed.  “We’re all upset but not at you.  Never at you.”  He was surprised when Steve sat closer to him.

Steve bit his lower lip as he glanced at the kitchen.  “Are you sure?”  His fingers flexed around the edge of the shield.

“Completely.”  Tony rubbed his face and let out a heavy sigh.  “We want to help you.  We want to protect to you.  It’s just we’re upset because we don’t know how.”

They sat in silence, listening to the soft Russian murmurs between Bucky and Natasha.  Steve adjusted his position and slowly stuck his hand out making Tony blink in surprise.  It was the most intimate gesture that Steve offered since he came home.  Tony gently took the offered hand and gave it a light squeezed which Steve immediately returned.

“I think I’m going to be okay,” Steve whispered sounding hopeful for the first time.  “I’m going to be okay because of you.”

 


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the comments and kudos! I know everyone have been waiting patiently for another chapter!
> 
> This took longer than expected, lots of rewrites and editing but it's done and I need to post it before I start planning another chapter.
> 
> Mistakes are mine.
> 
> Warning: Mentions of suicide, rape, and emotional abuse.

Tony knew right away that his foundation was going to have another successful night.  He saw the eyes lighting up with excitement and murmurs pulsed positively through the crowd during his speech.  His favorite benefactors congratulated him afterwards on his work and informed him they’ll be donating more money, more support, and more effort to the foundation.  New benefactors, selected for their work in civil rights, happily asked questions about the foundation while reaching for their checkbooks or day planners.  Tony caught the huge smile on Pepper’s face and he knew that she was getting the exact same results.  He politely excused himself from an old supporter when Thor nodded his head towards a quiet section of the ballroom. 

“I figured you might need a reprieve,” Thor said handing him a champagne flute.

Tony happily took the glass and took a small sip.  The bubbles and the crisp tart flavor felt wonderful against his parched throat.  “You’re looking very regal,” he said gesturing at the demi-god.  “Which royal family gave you the sash?”

Thor looked down at the elaborate red, blue, gold, and white weaving across his chest.  “A lovely Norwegian artisan gave me this when I was in Sweden for that conference on preserving Scandinavian cultural history.  I thought it would be appropriate to wear since dignitaries from those countries are here for your cause.”  Tony knew exactly which individuals Thor was referring, he personally called those individuals because of their work in ending domestic violence.  “Your heart is everywhere at this event, I’m surprised that your mother’s foundation does not handled this.”

“I created _Margo’s Haven_ when I was seventeen,” Tony answered, feeling the familiar but uncomfortable twist in his heart.  “It’s a memorial to someone that was special to me.”

“Ah,” Thor replied sadly.  “A lover?”

Tony shook his head.  “No,” he took another sip of the champagne.  “She was my Rhodey before Rhodey.”  He smiled when Thor looked confused.  “Margo was an engineering major with me at MIT.  We ended up being partners for a project since she was the only female in the class and I was basically a kid.  After that, she became the big sister I’ve always wanted.”  He sniffed.  “She was awesome and I loved her.”

“May I ask……” the demi-god ventured.

“She went out on a date and I got a phone call from a homeless shelter about a hysterical woman.  When I saw her,” he swallowed the lump around his throat, “when I saw her, I knew something bad happened to her.  She was beaten, her clothes were muddy and disarranged, and she had wounds on her hands.  I called the police, evidence was taken, and her rapist was found.”

“What happened?”

“They let the bastard go,” Tony snarled.  “The police said there was no evidence and almost arrested Margo for making false accusations.  She was shunned by her peers while her rapist acted like he was the victim.  I was sixteen when she took her life.”  He waved his glass around the room.  “After that, I dedicated my money and life to make sure that it would never happen again.”  He thought about Steve sitting silently at the window while Bucky sat nearby looking helpless and Tony couldn’t help but feel like he failed.

Thor, the damned bastard, knew exactly what he was thinking.  “Steven has been improving,” he said softly.  “Since we’ve been focusing on the foods that he finds pleasurable, his weight has been gaining.”

Tony sighed.  “He’s still not talking to his therapist.”

“That will take time,” Thor urged.  “You are a man with great patience, Anthony.  It shows in your work, your dedication, the laws that you influenced, and the resources that you provided.  Steven will heal but it will be on his terms.”

“It’s just hurts to see him suffer.”

“Seeing the people you love in pain will always hurt,” Thor answered sagely.  “My Jane was hurt by a previous lover, he made her feel that she wasn’t smart enough or worthy enough.  I do not know the details but Darcy told me that I have to be patient with her, earn her trust, and if I hurt her; she would make sure that Heimdall would never find my body.  It was a long and patient road but earning Jane’s love is worth more than all the gold in Asgard.”

Tony blinked.  He knew Jane fought hard for her research because she was beautiful but he never knew she was emotionally abused by a former lover.  “I think you’re a better mortal than me.”

Thor laughed, shaking his head like he heard the funniest joke.

Tony raised the glass to his lips, pausing midway when he noticed the smartly dressed man that was talking to a small group of people.  “Son of a bitch,” he muttered handing his glass to Thor.

He moved quickly through the crowd, pushing but politely shoving people away.  Some tried to get his attention but he gave them a curt nod and kept on moving.  Thor was a few feet behind him, trying to reach him but didn’t want to make a scene.  Tony didn’t care, his attention was focused on the man.

The man smiled when he saw him approach and Tony felt his stomach churned in disgust.  The last time he saw that smile was at the police station.  “Anthony,” the man greeted and the crowd opened up like the Red Sea.  “How long has it been, thirty years?  Give or take.”

Tony could hear the sneer in the greeting.  “Senator.”  He nodded his head towards a side exit.  “May I have a word with you?”

The fake smile turned savage.  “Of course,” he replied and handed his champagne flute to a woman that was definitely not his wife.  “Excuse me,” he said to the crowd.  “Good work doesn’t happen overnight.”

Tony almost threw a punch but a large warm hand clasped down on him.  “Gentlemen,” Thor’s voice was low and commanding.  “The veranda is empty,” he smiled at the small crowd.  “We can discuss politics there.”

The senator glared at the demi-god.  “Always need someone to make you look good, Anthony,” he spat but keeping in step with the larger man.  “Especially from aliens that claim to be gods.”

Tony saw the subtle eye roll as Thor held the door open for the two men.  “Midgardians were the ones that declared me as a god,” he countered shutting the door behind everyone.  “I’m just merely a prince.”

“So you say.”

He shrugged.  “Your country does and every country in the United Nations are in the same agreement.”  He leaned against the heavy door.  “What is the problem?” 

“He wasn’t invited,” Tony snapped.  “This event has been running for almost thirty years and an invitation was never sent to him.”

The senator harrumphed.  “I was invited,” he countered pulling out an invitation.  “Which is a shame since this night is about helping the victims and as a victim, I was never acknowledge.”

“Victim my ass!” Tony spat.  “You raped Margo and walked away free!  You taunted her after that!  It’s your fault that she killed herself!”

The senator rolled his eyes.  “Oh please, that tease wanted it!  She practically ruined my life when she told the press she was raped.  I’m grateful that the police saw through her lies.  It’s not my fault that she killed herself, she did that to herself.”

“I want you gone.  You weren’t invited and never will be.  The only silver lining here is that her parents passed away instead of seeing your disgusting ass.”

“I was properly invited.  As a voice to the people, I have to do my civic duty.”

“You haven’t done jack shit!” he hissed.  “You never voted on the laws to protect the victims of sexual assault!”

“Because why should the American people put their money into the so called ‘rape culture’?”  

The veranda went quiet. 

Tony stared at the other man with complete utter shock.  Thor cleared his throat.  “I think it would be best if you left, senator,” he stated sternly.  “We will discuss your contributions at a later date.” 

The senator’s face was red with anger.  “If you think….”

Tony watched with vindictive amusement as Thor pushed the sputtering senator through the door.  The larger man stopped briefly, his hand firmly gripped on the senator’s shoulder as he nodded his head to the veranda.  Tony was slightly confused until Natasha, dressed elegantly in a deep purple, entered the veranda with the door shutting behind her.

“Romanoff.”  The name was harsh across his tongue.

Natasha arched an eyebrow.  “Just wondering if everything is okay,” she stated easily.  “It’s been a long time since you pissed off an elected official.”

“That man had no right to be here!” he snapped running a hand through his hair.  “The nerve of him!  Claiming that he was a victim!”

The silk swished to the movement as she went to his side.  “Is it someone I need to kill?”  The corner of her lips twitched up to show that the question was in jest.  “I can make it quick and painless or slow and full of excruciating pain.”

“Can you drawn and quartered?”

Her green eyes turned murderous.  “Who is he?”

“The man that destroyed Margo.”

Natasha let out explicit that Tony wasn’t sure was Russian.  “She’s taunting you,” she growled.  “Agent Collins knew about this event.  She wants you to remember that she still has power.”

Tony sat on the low railing and covered his face.  “Why do I feel so weak?” he asked sadly.  “You would think that after all these years, I would be stronger, more determine, more resilient but instead I feel like the same helpless fifteen-year-old boy wanting to help but don’t know how.”

She sat down placing a hand between his shoulders.  “We all feel helpless,” she whispered rubbing comforting circles, adding a little pressure on a knot he didn’t know he had.  “This is Steve, a man that never backed down from a fight.  A man that knew what was right.  A man that wasn’t broken even when he was weak and sick.”  She took a deep shuddering breath, “and all that was taken away from him because of ego and greed.”

“The police had a case that was lock tight.  There was nothing that would cause doubt in that asshole’s conviction.  They even had him arrested!”  Tony clenched his fists.  “Then the police announced that there was no case and the accusation was false.”

“Can the case be reopened?”

Tony shrugged.  “I’m not sure.  No lawyer is going to go after a senator and no law official is going to make the arrest.”  The silence was deafening and he could hear the thoughts that were running through her mind.  “Nat…”

“No dead senators,” she promised standing up, there wasn’t a wrinkle in her dress.  “Tonight was a success for your foundation.  You should go home.”

“Natasha.”

“You deserve it,” she continued.  “Go home and relax.”

She left him on the balcony completely confused, nervous, and wary.

The next morning started with him and Pepper discussing the success of the event and possible charities that they should fund over coffee and pastries when Pepper’s assistant entered the office.  The normally attentive and detailed young woman looked absolutely confused.

“Mr. Stark, a Ms. Everhart is here to see you.”

Pepper raised an eyebrow over her cup of coffee.  “Did you schedule another interview without my knowledge?  Remember what happened in 2004?”

“That was because of the drugs,” he faltered at Pepper’s dirty look, “that I may or may not have taken at the time.”  He went back on topic.  “No interview scheduled.”

“Should I send her away?”

Tony rubbed the bridge of his nose while heaving a loud sigh.  “Nah, send her in.  I’m curious why she’s here.”  He glanced at Pepper.  “Normally she avoids me.”

Pepper snorted.  “Gee, I wonder why.”

A half second later, Christine Everhart stride in with a smirk that held news that could destroy or make someone’s career.  Tony briefly wondered which side he was on.  “Did you hear?” she said without bothering a greeting.

Pepper gave him a worried look.  “Good morning, Christine,” he replied sarcastically.  “Hear what?”

Surprised etched across her face and then she looked up to the ceiling.  “Can you turn the television on to CNN?”

He narrowed his eyes.  “JARVIS doesn’t take orders from you.”  The television flickered on.  “Traitor,” he hissed.

Christine quickly moved to the television.  “Did you hear about this?”  She pointed at the screen.  “You need to make a comment.”

Pepper’s eyes widen and her hand covered her mouth.  “Oh my god,” she gasped.

Tony read the contents on the screen several times just to make sure that it wasn’t a joke.  “Is this real?” he whispered feeling lightheaded.

“As of seven this morning, Senator Drake has been arrested for the rape of Margo Kenney.  The cold case task force that was involved with the proceedings have solid proof of the Senator’s misdeeds and evidence of police tampering of the case.  The original officers involved have been arrested for corruption and bribery.  Since the announcement of the arrest, several other women came forward stating that Senator Drake raped them during their year at MIT and were threaten if they went to the police.  The task force found undeniable information that correlates to the women’s testimonies,” Christine stated with breathless glee.  “Local and federal prosecutors are looking at a possible second degree murder charge for Margo Kenney.”    

Tony stared at Christine with hope.  “He’s going to jail?”

Her smile was bright.  “No plea bargain.  The slimy bastard will never see the light of day again.”  She sat in an empty chair flicking her digital recorder on.  “Mr. Stark,” she placed the recorder next to the pastries, “you have been a vocal advocate for victims of sexual assault for decades and was a personal friend to Ms. Margo Kenney, please tell me how you feel about the recent arrest of Senator Drake.”  She picked up one of the pastries and took a bite.

Tony let out a jubilant laugh.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally! I apologize for taking so long! Learned a very important lesson in writing a chapter, don't force it to go one way when the chapter wants to go another because that would lead to writer's stalemate on EVERYTHING!
> 
> Thank you for your patience, kudos, and comments!

“Question.”

Tony turned his eyes away from the television and gave his guest a scrutinized look.  “Answer.”

Skye snorted with amusement.  “I should start doing that, it will drive Simmons insane.”  She tossed a plastic ring at Mjölnir.  The ring set magically appeared when everyone realized that the hammer wasn’t moving off the coffee table until Thor becomes immortal again.  “Why does your AI kicks me out of the server room every three hours and won’t let me in until I complete a task?”

“It’s the _Damsel in Distress_ protocol,” Tony sighed.  “JARVIS uses it when he feels that I need to spend time in the real world.”  He wrinkled his nose.  “You must’ve fallen in those parameters for him to initiate it but that wasn’t your question.”

“I find that equally creepy and awesome that your program does that.  That surpasses the self-learning parameters of an average artificial intelligence.”  She gave him a sheepish grin.  “Yeah, that wasn’t my question.”

“JARVIS, mute.” The images on the television moved to a silent beat.  Turning his body, Tony gave Skye his full attention.  “What’s the question?”

She bit her lower lip.  “Does Steve,” waving the ring in her hand, “know about Agent Collins and the conspiracy with the WSC?”

He let out a heavy sigh.  “No.”

“Are you planning to tell him?”

“When there’s justice.”

She wanted to argue that point.  “Why aren’t you celebrating?” she asked instead.

The whirlwind of Senator Drake’s downfall was on every news channel and it became a media frenzy when more allegations appeared.  The disgraced senator tried to insinuate that Tony knew about the rape and helped with the cover-up but it was quickly dismissed by Christine Everhart’s Pulitzer Prize sob-inducing story about the friendship between Tony Stark and Margo Kenney.  The final nail in the coffin was when the senator’s daughter-in-law publically announced that she was sexually molested by him and was threatened to keep quiet or she would lose her children because of a past drug addiction.  TMZ was happily recording when the senator’s son threw a punch that knocked the older man out.

He clenched his hand into a fist.  “Until Agent Collins is locked in a small room at the bottom of the ocean.” 

There was no need to tell the younger agent about the non-stop streaming of Steve’s torture with a text message saying, _‘personal spank bank’_ in his penthouse.  The last few hours were the worst as every screen was lit up and refused to shut down unless Tony pulled the plug.  JARVIS worked nonstop trying to figure out how to end and contain the video streaming and making sure that no one else saw it.

He also didn’t want to mention that he reached for the large bottle of bourbon at his wet bar.  Or how he stared at that bottle, questioning if drinking himself blind would give him the relief from the horrors of Steve’s torture and then decided to pour the large bottle down the sink. 

Skye didn’t need to hear that; she needed to focus, and he didn’t want her pity. 

The young agent reached forward and gave him a hug that was warm, comforting, welcomed, and very much needed.  He couldn’t help but smell her hair; which smelled like coconuts and microchips and he found it oddly soothing.

The elevator pinged and Skye released herself from the hug while quickly wiping her eyes.  Tony peered over the couch as Natasha and Clint exited the elevator.  Natasha was dressed for training while Clint was in a three-piece suit.  Tony gave a low whistle.  “Hot date?” he teased.

“Sharon called,” Clint answered draping the suit jacket over the chair.  “She knows someone that works for Homeland Security in Los Angeles.  She said her friend received a notice from the Port Authority over a suspicious crate and figured it was SHIELD business.”

“Please tell me it’s that bastard.”

“Homeland Security has detained someone,” Natasha replied straightening Clint’s tie.  “Sharon and Sam are heading down there as SHIELD Liaisons.”  She tighten the knot.  “He’s going to play legal.”

Tony quirked an eyebrow. “Not you?”

Clint smiled brightly.  “It’s my turn this week!”

“You take turns?” Skye asked incredulously.

“Steve asked me to spar with him,” Natasha replied instead.

Tony blinked and Clint looked equally as shocked.  “He wants to initiate contact?” Clint asked with disbelief. 

His fingers instantly went to the little brass wingnut.  “Should you?”

“He’s been doing so well,” Natasha defended.  “He’s been eating and engaging with everyone, even though it’s only minutes.  The therapist sees the change and she’s happy with the progress.”  It looked like she disagreed with the therapist’s thoughts.  “If I used non-threatening maneuvers, he should be okay.  James is going to supervise but has to be in Steve’s sight at all times.”

“Have JARVIS lock down the gym.”

Natasha wanted to protest but Clint butted in, “I agree with Stark.”  He picked up the jacket and gave it a shake.  “Just in case someone forgets and send Steve in a tailspin.  We do not want to go back to square one.”  He slid the jacket on.  “Coulson is making some headways in Dubai.  He’s following one lead under the guise of stopping a terrorist cell in Iran.”

“Dangerous,” Skye commented.

He shrugged.  “Somehow he blends in.  I can’t figure that out because I always get shot in Iran.”

Natasha snorted.  “Clint, it’s you.  Everyone wants to shoot you.”

Tony finally recognized the cut of the suit.  “SHIELD can’t afford a Van Dyne.” 

Clint and Natasha shared a smirk.  “Ms. Van Dyne used to be a full-time agent,” Natasha answered smugly.  “Now she does contract work.”

“She’s our own Edna Mode!” Clint beamed.

“Jan’s here?” Skye practically jumped off the couch with glee.  “I haven’t see her since Detroit!”  Everyone gave her a blank look.  “The Auto Show?  Cars turning into robots?”  She rolled her eyes when no one said anything.  “The hockey player?”

Clint’s eyes widen with acknowledgement.  “Oh yeah, I heard about that!  How’s he doing?”

“Had a very good season.  Plus he loves his new ride.”

“It’s a Zamboni that turns into a hockey net,” a smoky smooth voice replied.

Tony smiled brightly at the petite woman with the severe blunt bob walking towards them.  “Jan!”

Jan let out a delighted laugh when he enveloped her into a big hug.  “Tony!”  She put her hands on his face.  “How are you, darling?”

He closed his eyes and relished the touch.  Janet Van Dyne has been his friend since childhood, she was his first in everything, and she knew him better than anyone else including Pepper.  “Breathing,” he whispered.

There was a flicker of emotion before she turned away and fiddled with Clint’s suit jacket.  “Try not to get blood on this one,” she warned.  “I’m fiddling with a new weave and I’m not sure if removing blood would ruin the material.”

“Make it bulletproof,” Clint mumbled.

She smoothed out the lapels.  “Stop getting shot,” she retorted.  “And it is bulletproof.  You just have a knack of getting blood on things.”

“Agree,” Natasha and Skye answered at the same time.  The red head gave the younger woman a questioning look.  “Amsterdam,” Skye replied cryptically.  Natasha nodded as if that answered everything.

“That must be a requirement for SHIELD woman,” Tony said feeling lost and confused.  “Able to answer questions that have one word.”  He glanced at the suit.  “Have you tried using a metal alloy?”

“Already in the weave but I’m sure Butterfingers could make a thinner thread.”

“Send JARVIS the schematics and he’ll be able to think of something,” he offered.

Jan send him a bright smile.  “Already ahead of you.”

The atmosphere in the room changed when Bucky entered with Steve following close behind.  The Winter Soldier gave everyone a glare while Steve tried to make himself smaller.  “I can’t be that threatening,” Bucky said gruffly giving everyone a subtle nod to continue.

Jan was the first to take the hint.  “From what I hear, you’re tamer than a pussy cat.”  Clint barked out a laugh and mumbled “ _she said pussy.”_ She pushed Clint before giving Bucky an appreciative wink.  “It’s nice to see you again, Sergeant Barnes.”

“ _Again?!_ ” Clint, Tony, and Steve sputtered.

Bucky narrowed his eyes.  “Milan.”

“He played my model cabana boy-toy,” Jan replied with a wispy sigh.  “He was so fun to dress.  My very own Ken doll!”

Clint looked crestfallen.  “I thought I was your Ken doll.”

“Honey, you’re more like my Skipper.”

“Not Barbie?”

Jan pointed at Tony.  “He’s always going to be my Barbie.”

There was a snort and Tony was the first to see Steve covering his mouth.  His shoulders were shaking but everyone in the room could tell he was laughing.  Tony gave Bucky a huge smile as the other man sagged in relief.  “Sorry,” Steve hiccupped through his mouth.  “I just got this picture in my head of Tony being a blond.”  Then any amusement he had was gone.  His face went blank, hiding any emotion that he might have.

Tony swore to himself, the last time Steve saw him as a blond was at the penthouse.

Bucky was the first to recover.  “Natasha!” he practically shouted.  “We’re ready to spare if you still want to.”

Natasha gave a quick smile to everyone and headed to the elevator without a word.  Bucky gave a nod.  “It was nice seeing you again, Ms. Van Dyne.”  He gave Tony a shake of his head before heading to the waiting elevator.

Steve somehow managed to smile even though he was still tense.  “It was nice meeting you,” he stuttered at Jan.  “Tony, thank you for the drummer boy, he’s perfect.”

Tony found himself returning the smile.  “You’re welcome, I’m happy to do any requests.”

The second smile was real and Steve walked backwards to the elevator.  His body was angled so he could see Natasha and Bucky behind him and everyone in front of him.  The familiar spark of rage was blooming, and Tony desperately wanted to be in Los Angeles with Clint so he could personally murder the accomplice.  Justice system be dammed.

Jan raised an eyebrow at Tony before focusing her attention on Clint.  “My plane is waiting for you, and I believe Happy is taking you to the airport.”

Clint blinked a few times before acknowledging Jan.  “Yeah, thanks,” he replied absentmindedly.  “Wish you can come back.  Fashion models have to be way worse than us.”

“Surprisingly, no.”  She gave him a little push.  “Good luck, agent.”  She reached out for Tony and he took her hand.  “Now Anthony, I’ve been dragged here with promises of the finest coffee and designers.”  She settled against his side and began directing him to the elevators.  “But I’ll settled with a Starbucks and a cheap Italian.”

Clint and Skye burst out laughing.  “You know how to make a guy feel welcome, Janet,” Tony playfully pouted.

“Pish-posh,” Jan sniffed haughtily.  “You were called worse!”

The two ended up going to an old coffee shop near Central Park.  Once they received their orders, they took a path that separated them from the crowd.  The pathway was quiet; the wind was going through leaves giving the trees a slight wave and burst of floral aroma.  It was beautiful and silent and Tony knew exactly why Jan chosen this path.

“What happened to Captain Rogers?” she asked staring out in front of her.

“SHIELD didn’t tell you?”

“I’ve been told that Captain Rogers has been placed on medical leave until further notice.”  She gave him a look.  “Also, I’ve heard that the Avengers Initiative has been placed on leave until further notice.  In fact, I received a notice saying that certain member from Coulson’s team went AWOL and notify the WSC immediately if I see her.”

Tony stopped walking and gave Jan a panicked look.  “You wouldn’t!”

“I’m not going to tell WSC anything,” Jan shot back.  “I don’t trust them over my last season Gucci’s, especially after Hank.”  She crossed her arms managing not to spill her coffee.  “What’s going on Tony?  Everyone is walking on egg shells.  Captain Rogers doesn’t look right and I’ll bet my entire fortune that if he wore that suit right now, it would be hanging off his body!  Don’t get me started on how he walked out of the living area expecting the boogey man to jump out!”  She uncrossed her arms and her free hand cupped his face.  “What happened?”  Her face softens.  “I haven’t seen you like this since Margo.”

A sob escaped.  “It’s Margo all over again.”

Horror crossed over Jan’s features.  “He was…?  Oh shit, _Tony_!”  She dropped her cup letting the coffee splash on her clothes.  His cup was gently taken away and he was pulled into her arms.  He instantly buried his face into her neck.  “I’m so sorry!  Is there anything I can do?”

He just shook his head and cried.  Jan hugged him tighter, running her fingers through his hair, humming a tune that he hasn’t heard since his parents’ death.  He welcomed Jan’s comfort, letting her see the fragile man that he was.  “When I found him,” he ignored the gasp.  “Well, you know the look; that awful blank look.  He’s been seeing a SHIELD therapist but he’s still distant, still untrusting.  He’s broken and I can’t do anything to fix it!”

“Do you think a SHIELD therapist enough?”

“I don’t think a SHIELD therapist can handle this!  Don’t get me wrong, the person they have is highly qualified but I think she’s over her head.”

Jan pressed her lips together.  “Do you remember my situation?”

“I don’t want to talk about Hank!” Tony snapped.  “I’m angry enough and talking about that asshole will make me do unthinkable things!” 

“I wasn’t going to mention him,” she whispered.  “I was going to say that I spent time recovering at a retreat of some sort.”

“Steve doesn’t need a spa day.”

“You’re angry and lashing out,” Jan said calmly.  “I understand that but you need to calm down.  It’s not a spa or a vacation resort.  It’s for the survivors of rape and domestic abuse.  Twenty-four hour therapy care in a non-judgmental environment and you can stay as long as needed.  The compound is safe and the staff is wonderful.  Full privacy and the residents come from all walks of life.  Dr. Lydia Strauss personally sees each resident in a group therapy setting and a private setting, if needed.  Her mission is to make sure each survivor finds their life.”

“Strauss,” Tony muttered understanding what Jan was saying.  “I believe the Foundation gave her a grant for her work.”

“She does wonderful work,” Jan agreed.  “Without her and her staff, my bulimia would’ve taken over my life and I would’ve kept on believing that Hank only hits when his experiments gone bad.  She can help Steve rediscover himself.”

Tony looked down.  “What happens he can’t?” he asked.  “What happens he goes down a road that I can’t follow?  Jan, my feelings towards him are not exactly platonic.”

He was in Jan’s embrace again.  “You’ve always been in love with him, even when you denied it,” she let out a wet laugh.  “All the guys you dated were blue-eyed blonds.  Right now, Steve needs you as his pillar.  He needs you to catch him when he falls.”  Her nails dug into his back.  “Because believe me, he will fall.”

The two stood in the middle of the path, holding each other tight as birds chirp over their heads.  Jan was the first to pull away and quickly wiped her eyes.  She went into her bag and pulled out her wallet.  Tony raised an eyebrow when she handed him a business card.

“Dr. Strauss,” Jan answered the unspoken question.  “Do your research and present it to Steve.  Let him think about it.”

The cream colored card felt like a life preserver and Tony held on to it tightly.  “I will.”

Tony wasn’t expecting to catch Steve so soon.

 


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Protocol 12 activated.
> 
> WARNING: ATTEMPTS OF SUICIDE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, this is a first, a back to back chapters! Please mind the warnings.
> 
> Thank you for the comments and kudos!

Everyone was in good spirits when Tony returned to the tower.  According to the team, Steve had a good day.  Bruce took him to his scheduled therapy appointment and from what the older man told him it was a break-through day.  He said the therapist was proud that Steve finally spoke more than a few words. 

The training session was also successful.  Natasha showed some throwing sequences that involved more touching than usual and Steve never once faltered.  Bucky also added that Steve flashed a smile every time he glanced at the corner where the other man stood stoically.  The session was only an hour long but it ended with Steve looking very pleased.  He even urged Bucky and Natasha to go out for the night.

Thor mentioned that Steve spent most of his time on the communal floor.  He still sat in his defensive position, back away from the elevator and always angled to see every entranceway, but the super soldier was doodling in his notebook not focused on the doors.  He even accepted the sandwich on a plate from Thor for lunch.

Even Tony noticed that Steve was calmer.  He smiled and greeted him with a wave and asked how his day was.  He sat close to him, not close enough where they were touching but enough were Tony could feel the heat from Steve’s body and he could hear the excitement in the man’s voice when he talked about the little drummer boy. 

Dinner was take-out from Steve’s favorite Greek restaurant.  He was a little hesitant about eating in front of people but his eyes rolled up in pleasure after his first bite from the gyro.  He ate two, instead of his usual six, but it was the most food he ate since coming home.  Everyone smiled around their food and chatted away like how it was before.  There was a moment of panic when Thor accidently slapped Steve on the back but the super soldier laughed and grinned.

It was normal.

It was perfect.

So, Tony was honestly surprised when JARVIS went into Code Red, or Rhodey’s version of _Tony’s drunk and everything must shut down_ , in the middle of the night.

“JARVIS!” he yelled over the screaming alarms.  “What the fuck?!”

“Apologies, sir,” JARVIS replied loudly.  “I felt it was my programming right to follow proper protocols.”

“Proper…” Tony started but stopped.  He _knew_ that JARVIS was monitoring Steve when no one was looking.  He gave the order to do whatever was necessary to keep Steve safe.  “Shit!” he tumbled out of bed with the sheets tangled around his legs.  “Status!  _Now!_ ”

“Heart elevations are at unreasonable levels for serum enhancement,” JARVIS replied with what sounded like fear.  “I’ve already locked down the private floors, all weapons are secured and accounted for.”

Tony didn’t bother putting on a pair of pants as he sprinted out his penthouse and down the emergency stairs to Steve’s floor.  He was greeted by his teammates in various stages of undress as no one was taking the alert lightly.

“JARVIS,” Bruce ordered as he gave a Tony a worried look.  “Update.”

“Captain Rogers is in the living room sitting on the couch.  The vibranium magnet has been activated and after a couple of attempts, Captain Rogers could not remove the shield from the wall.  Bathroom facilities have been locked down under the protocol of potential deadly weapons.”

Thor raised an eyebrow.  “Deadly weapons?”

“Steve uses a straight razor,” Natasha answered, she bit her lower lip.  “JARVIS, is there anything he could use to harm himself?”

“Anything can be used in harm, Agent Romanov, but as of right now there is nothing that could….” JARVIS paused and Tony stopped breathing.  The door unlocked and slid open.  “He has a gun.”

Tony pushed Bucky out of the way and was first through the door.  “Steve!” he cried out tripping over his feet.  The couch felt it was miles away and he was so scared that he wasn’t going to make it in time.  His hands gripped the arm and swung around to face the other man.  “Steve, please don’t!”

Steve looked up at him; his eyes were wild and full of fear.  His fingers curled around the gun that was sitting on his lap.  “I can’t,” he whispered.  “I want this to end!  I can’t stop hearing their voices!  The machines!  The torture!  The cold!”  His finger tightens around the trigger and Tony felt the panic clawing at his chest.  “I’m starving for human contact but every time I get close, the memories return!”

“Give me the gun,” Tony whispered slowly, his voice cracking with fear.  His hand slid down Steve’s arm, gently cupping the gun, and flicking the safety on.  “You don’t need to do this,” he pleaded.

“Listen to him, Stevie,” Bucky urged, the hysteria was bubbling out of his voice.  “Give the gun to Tony.”

Out of the corner of his eye, Skye tossed Bruce a slim case.  Bruce snapped it open and began arranging the contents on the counter.

“I woke up feeling great!” Steve sobbed completely ignoring Bucky.  “I thought maybe today is the day I’m finally cured!  Everything was peaceful!”  He tapped his forehead with the barrel of the gun, Tony thought his heart stopped.  “I just want to die!”

Bruce saw the movement and plunged the syringe into the vial.  He moved quickly but Tony knew that if the doctor went any faster the risk of air bubbles would be too great.  Thor nodded gravely when Bruce whispered into his ear.

“Give me the gun,” Tony repeated tugging on the weapon.  It took several tries but Steve finally let go and Tony handed it to Bucky, who quickly dismantled it.  He pressed his forehead against Steve’s and let the man fall apart in his arms.  “You can’t leave us,” he whispered hoarsely, letting the pent-up emotions out and not caring who was watching.  “You mean so much to us.” 

Steve shook his head in denial.  “You mean Captain America.”

“He means you, Steve,” Natasha countered, voice tight and wet.  “You mean so much to each of us.  We love you and we hate the fact that you’re hurting so much.”

“You can’t love me!” Steve snapped angrily.  He pushed Tony away and stood up.  Everyone in the room took a step back as he paced around the living area liked a caged animal.  “I’m dirty!” he screamed.  “Useless!”  He slammed his hand against his chest.  “No one wants me!”  He stood in front of the windows.

Bucky helped Tony to his feet.  “JARVIS better have the suit ready,” he mumbled, “because Thor will be moving at any second.”

Tony patted his arm before moving in front of Steve.  “I do,” he answered quietly.  “I want you.”  He waved his hand to everyone in the room.  “Bucky wants you.  Natasha wants you.  Bruce, Thor, Clint, Coulson, Sam, Sharon, Pepper, and Rhodey wants you.”  He pointed at Skye, who waved.  “Even the new girl.  We all want you.”  He reached out for him but stopped when Steve took a step back getting closer to the windows.  “You’re not useless.  You’re not dirty.  You’re Steve Rogers.  The boy from Brooklyn.  Never backed down from a fight.”

Steve’s face crumbled.  His body showed defeat.  “I don’t know if I can be fixed.”  He spun, swinging his arm in a wide arc, and his fist connected to the window shattering it.  He let his body follow the momentum and tumbled out of the window.

Someone screamed and Tony ran to the open space, ready to follow but a metal arm clasped around his waist.  “JARVIS!” someone yelled out.

Tony struggled in Bucky’s grasp, couldn’t comprehend the fact that _Steve jumped out of the tower_.  After ten painfully silent seconds, red and gold shot into room cradling the super soldier and depositing him on the floor.  “Hold him down, JARVIS!” Bruce ordered moving to Steve.  “Thor, hold his head!  Bucky, let go of Tony, you’re hurting him!”

Bucky let ago and Tony scrambled to Steve, giving the suit a pat on the back.  He struggled under the weight but froze when Thor rested his hands around his head.  His eyes were wide in panic and his face contorted into that awful blank look.  Tony instantly grabbed his hand.  “I’m here, Steve.  You’re safe.”

The panic ebbed away and Steve swallowed before speaking, “I’m sorry,” he sobbed.  “I’m sorry that I’m hurting you.”

Tony leaned close to Steve’s face.  “You’re not hurting me,” he whispered watching Bruce stick the needle into Steve’s neck.  Once the syringe was empty, a slightly green Bruce held up three fingers.  “I’m hurting because I can’t fix this and my heart breaks when the person I’m in love with is suffering so much.”

Steve closed his eyes.  “You can’t love me.” he whispered.

“I can and always did.”  Tony leaned even closer and pressed his lips on Steve’s forehead.  “And I will never stop.”

There was no response, just the even sound of Steve’s breathing.  Tony closed his eyes, squeezed Steve’s hand one last time, and sit up.  “JARVIS, the suit can go away.  You did good.”

“It was all I could do,” JARVIS replied helplessly.  “My apologies for not recognizing the gun.”

“Holy fuck!” Bucky yelled breaking the subdue silence.  He stumbled and Natasha was right at his side, holding him up.  “He had a fucking…. he fucking jumped out…. he wanted to….” he broke into a sob.  “He wanted to _die!_ ”

“Where the hell did he get a gun!” Tony shouted.  “All SHIELD weapons are identified by JARVIS and kept in storage on your floors for safety!”  He glared at the wall.  “JARVIS, are you sure everything has been accounted for?”

“All register weapons are in their proper locations,” JARVIS answered tersely.

“Steve was barely alone,” Bruce said in disbelief.  “That’s not something you order online.”

“There were no packages delivered for Captain Rogers,” JARVIS added.

“This gun is HammerTech,” Skye commented studying the weapon in her hands.  She wrinkled her nose in disgust.  “It’s the model that’s been appearing in the black markets.  Ward and May stumbled over one on a mission in Aruba.”  She bobbed her head.  “That was a several months ago.”

“Fucking Hammer?” Tony growled.  “I’m going to pistol whip that little shit!”  He began pacing around the room.  “I’m going to hit him and I’m not going to stop!”

“Let me,” Natasha offered.  “I can make it look like an accident.”

“I don’t want it to be an accident, I want everyone to know!”

Thor interrupted the brewing rage by clearing his throat.  “Friends,” he said morosely.  “Revenge is not going to help Steven.  We need to find him a safe haven.”

Bruce checked Steve’s pulse.  “The tower is not safe anymore.  He needs to go somewhere that will help him.  I gave him a dosage that could kill an elephant, I might be creating a drug dependency for him.”

Natasha looked at Bucky and he nodded.  “Call it, Stark.”

He knew what she was requesting and vehemently denied it.  “I’m not calling it.”

“You are authorized to call it,” she hissed.  “We are now at the point of no return.”

“Steve will hate us!”

Bucky stared at Steve’s prone form with glassy eyes.  “I’m next of kin,” he replied stiffly.  “I’m giving you permission to call it.”

Tony wanted to protest but Bruce and Thor nodded their heads in agreement.  In a vain attempt, he glanced at Skye for something, anything.  She bit her lower lip and nodded.  His team was right, there was no other choice but it felt like defeat.  “JARVIS,” he called out.  “Contact Fury.”

There was a beep and then a gruff voice echoed in the living area, _“It’s way past midnight, it better be good.”_

Tony took a deep breath.  “I’m initiating Protocol 12 of the Avengers Initiative; Charlie-Twenty-Two-Alpha-Nineteen-Papa-One.”  His voice wavered at the end.

“ _WHAT?!_ ” Fury roared.

He closed his eyes, willing himself not to cry.  “I’m hereby declare that Captain Steven Grant Rogers of the United States Army is no longer fit to carry the mantle of Captain America.”

 


End file.
